The Power of CARE

Social Media Efforts

2011-06-09T12:02:00.000-04:00

Well, there was a time when I was actually trying to do this thing called social media on a regular basis. It had its fun times, but it also was a lot a of work that seemed to take me away from other work.

After a looooong hiatus from blogging and tweeting and facebooking -- I'm trying to ease myself back into it. The goal it to come up with a schedule or plan of action that makes sense.

One of these things I came up with is a strategy I heard some writers do. Commit to one page a day. I read once of this author who says she commits herself to writing at least one page a day. On some days, that page comes out in less than five minutes and she ends up on a roll and might do ten, twenty pages. On other days that one page might take 12 plus hours.

I certainly don't have 12 plus hours to commit to social media each day, but I am committed that my "one page" will be that I will do at least on social media activity each day. Like that writer, there may be days when I get on a roll and become inspired by an event in my life or an epiphany of brilliance may occur that I feel I have to share with the world. But I know on most days, it might just be one tweet, one facebook post, one viral video on YouTube....or one blog post. Can you guess what my "one page" is today?

Looking for presenters

2011-05-31T11:34:00.000-04:00

Hello All

One of my clients, the Maryland Head Start Association, is having its third annual Fall Networking Conference in Novemeber 2011 and has issued its RFP and pre-conference booklet seeking vendors and sponsors, etc.

Check out their site for more information.

I'm Baaaack!!!!

2011-05-16T09:32:00.000-04:00

Well that was one loooooong nap.

Seriously, my last post in October of 2010 was at the end of my 26 hour marathon and I was tired. But I also was realizing that that event had been like my business: there was so much I wanted to do, but that I didn't get done because I couldn't do it alone. I needed help that day. I need help now. I need employees!

But when you are a small business and you make the realization that it is time to hire staff one of the biggest obstacles, besides letting the control freak in you take a break -- is figuring out how you're going to pay for it.

Hiring staff is expensive. Not only the search part, but also the training period. And lets face it, while most business people will agree that all of your employees should be either making you or saving you money, at the begining they cost you money. So where does a small business in this economy get the funds to hire staff?

Well for me. I had one big idea that went nowhere. (We won't talk about that) And then I had another big idea that equally fizzled.

So then I decided to make it more simple....T-Shirts for Jobs
I decided to sell T-shirts that have graphics about one of my most popular quality improvement theme...The Power of CARE. I'd use the proceeds to help fund hiring new staff to help me grow my business.

And I decided to bring a couple of organizations I care about along with me for the ride. So a portion of the proceeds will go to the Maryland Head Start Association and the Boys & Girls Clubs of Delaware.

It's 9 AM!

2010-10-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

Yeah. I'm going to go take a nap.

Thank you to all those who helped contribute to this day, both as guest, contributors and behind the scences.

Nadine

More Company

2010-10-23T07:14:00.000-04:00

Now my son is up. He would have gotten up earlier if we hadn't made it a rule a long ago that he can't get up and go into the den - where the video game is -- until at least 7 AM.

You know how they say there is a law against something because at least one time someone tried to do it? For example, in Devon, Texas, it is against the law to make furniture while you are nude. Now I have no doubt that this law came about because someone tried to do it and someone else got offended.

Well we have our video game timetable rule because after we bought a video game we caught my son downstairs playing it at 5:30 am in the morning.

Nadine

I'm Not Alone In the Dining Room Anymore

2010-10-23T06:54:00.002-04:00

My husband is now up and across the dining room table from me. We have dueling laptops.

I think he just snickered at me.

Nadine

Why Did You Make The Leap: Oana Hogrefe, Photographer

2010-10-23T06:33:00.000-04:00

Recently I ask for some entrepreneurs to share why and how they made the leap from the j-o-b to starting their own business...

I have been pursuing a safe (although difficult) high-tech/science path for many years. I hold a PhD in Physics, and have been holding corporate positions in the IT/software industry for 9 years.

I decided to become an entrepreneur when I realized that the way I spent my waking hours needs to reflect my passions, priorities and what brings me joy. The corporate ladder has its advantages, but it can also feel constricting and many of the limitations are out of ones control.

I am now a full time owner of a boutique photography studio in Atlanta, and I love the feeling of being able to have my business be an authentic extension of myself, my beliefs, priorities, personality and passions..

For people who are looking into owning their own business, here are a few pieces of advice: avoid paralysis by analysis. Move forward daily, even if with small steps. You will never be completely perfectly ready to make the leap. You will not replace your previous income right away. Growing a business takes determination, focus and action. Be a little better every time. Deliver exceptional products or services. Align your actions with your passion, and people will appreciate your genuine spirit.

Oana Hogrefe
Photographer

http://www.shutterview.com/

CARE-a-thon Part Deux

2010-10-23T05:40:00.001-04:00

I am too tired to be brilliant. :-)

Just like when I do my trainings, I had so much I wanted to convey... Especially about The Power of CARE. All of the things I wanted but didn't get a chance to -- until I was too tired to do them justice -- will have to wait for another day.

Now that I have a better understanding of YouTube, I'll definately use it more. Be on the look out for more YouTube videos from me. I've decided that this blog needs more information about how the Power of CARE relates to all aspects of our lives...everything we care about.

Is it 9 AM yet? Not even close...

Nadine

Monitoring Social Media

2010-10-23T04:37:00.001-04:00

Well I've spent the last few hours montinoring my social media presence. I've been posting and linking the CARE-a-thon videos on various pages and sites. This one part marketing event, one part experiment has produced some interesting results. Maybe I'll let you in on them when I'm not sleep deprived and can be more coherent.

This Is Why Hospitals Make Mistakes

2010-10-23T03:08:00.001-04:00

Because the staff are all sleep deprived. How in the world can you do a 24 or 36 hour shift?

Midnight Musings

2010-10-23T00:22:00.000-04:00

It's after midnight. What's on my mind after 17 hours of this social media marathon?

Mr & Mrs Smith's Employment Survival Guide

2010-10-22T22:47:00.000-04:00

Tips on how to navigate the interview process from husband and wife team Odie and Daval Smith.

Do You Need Someone to Help You Rescue Your Resume?

2010-10-22T19:46:00.000-04:00

I had a great talk with someone who cares about resumes even more than I do. So much so, she helps people make theirs better.

For more information about Lauren's company, visit her website.

The Art and Technology of Photography

2010-10-22T18:55:00.000-04:00

Even with all the modern technology, taking a great picture is an art.

I took a few moments to talk with photographer Scott Hewitt about his art and some of the new technology that is added new demensions to his work.

For more information about 360 degree phtography, visit Scott's websites.

http://www.scotthewitt.com/

http://www.dgree360.com/

The 6 Aspects of Beauty

2010-10-22T17:45:00.001-04:00

Amanda Schwab has written a book to help women attain greater understanding about beauty. All aspects of beauty.

For more information about Woman Beautiful, visit the website at www.womanbeautiful.us

Career Sudoku

2010-10-22T16:11:00.000-04:00

I had a great talk about strategically planning ones career with author Adriana Llames.

For more information about Career Sudoku visit the website.

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...and Bloggers... Go Awry.

2010-10-22T15:55:00.002-04:00

When I do my trainings and seminars, so often I end up having too much information to cover in the allotted time. I do not want to do less than the time agreed upon. Well, it seems I did the same for this Power of CARE-a-thon.

I had quite a few segments that I wanted to do during the day, but I guess I will have to move them to this evening. I scheduled more interviews than I could humanly do alone and still create my real time videos on my Flip camera.

It just goes to show you that those small business people who seem to have so much of a social media presence, probably have a little help. Even with technology, it can take up a lot of your time.

Oh well. While everyone is asleep at my house tonight, I'll be talking into a camera. I was going to be up any way. :-)

UPDATE: No, I wasn't talking into a camera all night. Too tired. Will do those segments another day(s).

"The Celebritizer"

2010-10-22T12:37:00.002-04:00

You know I love a great interview. When it comes to this blog, I want to be sure I am being a good interviewer. In addition, in those times I am the guest, I also want to make a good impression.

If you do too, you should take a few tips from Gayl Murphy, "The Celebritizer" who has done more than 14,000 interviews and has literally written the book on how to be a great interview that the media seeks out.

For more information about Gayl and her book, visit her at her website.

Socks n Undies Sunday

2010-10-22T12:01:00.000-04:00

An example of everyday philanthropy...

Little Helping Hands

2010-10-22T10:18:00.001-04:00

Another great conversation with Marissa Vogel of Little Helping Hands.

Check out her other interview.

Interview with the Bliss Mistress

2010-10-22T08:46:00.001-04:00

Bliss Mistress, Edie Weinstein and a few other great women are coming to Philadelphia today, but she took a few moments to talk to me.

For more information about Amazing Woman's Days across the country go to http://www.amazingwomansday.com/

For more information about Edie, visit her website at http://www.liveinjoy.org/

Welcome to the CARE-A-THON!

2010-10-22T07:10:00.002-04:00

Good Morning Everyone

Welcome to my 26-hour Social Media Marathon....the Power of CARE-A-THON.

Well this is the first of many blog posts today. I was suppose to have a video, but I'll have to post that later. Murphy's Law I have had technical difficulties this morning already.

But stay tuned. We have several interviews planned and I have a great deal to share with you about The Power of CARE.

See ya,

Nadine

UPDATE: Obviously got the video working and posted. :-)

7 AM First Video | Power of CARE-a-thon

2010-10-22T07:00:00.007-04:00

Yes, it is still dark outside. And since I have'nt done my hair and make-up yet, I was not concerned about adjusting the lighting. :-)

Dignity Through Underwear: An Interview with Socks'n Undies Sunday's Jennifer Maulsby

2010-10-20T12:09:00.001-04:00

Remember what your mother used to say about always putting on clean underwear? Well for some it is not always possible to do as mom said.

For those balancing the challenges of homelessness, in addition to trying to obtain shelter and food each day, many must also deal with how to maintain a semblance of normalcy in their personal attire.

In many homeless shelters, next to the food pantry is also a clothes closet that continually needs replenishing. This is where people like Jennifer Maulsby and the Socks'nUndies Sunday Program comes to the rescue.

I recently had an opportunity to talk to Jennifer about her organization -- Everyday Philanthrophy -- and its signature program, Socks'n Undies Sunday.

For more information about the Socks n Undies Program, visit their website at http://www.socksnundies.org/

Making Community Service a Family Affair: An Interview with Marissa Vogel

2010-10-11T12:51:00.009-04:00

If we are civic minded parents and invest in our community through volunteerism, we hope that we instill that message of "giving back" to our children. Yet, there is an even better way to develop that belief and practice in our children....INVOLVE THEM.

Anyone in education knows that we all learn differently. Some of us can hear something once and retain it. Others need to visualize it. Still others need to have a hands on experience for the lessons to sink in. The lesson of community service and volunteerism is one that doesn't have to wait until it's a high school graduation requirement. It can start in early childhood.

I had a wonderful talk with Marissa Vogel -- the founder and executive director of Little Helping Hands in Austin, Texas -- who shares this belief and put forth the effort to make family community service easier in her community.

For more information about Little Helping Hands, visit their website.

The Power of CARE and Co-Parenting

2010-10-05T12:00:00.000-04:00

I had the pleasure of being a guest on Co-Parenting Matters -- a blog talk radio program about co-parenting. Thank you to Deesha and Mike, the co-founders of coparenting101.org and to Talibah who started the WeParent.com website.

This was a chance to use the Power of CARE framework on the subject of co-parenting.

Listen to internet radio with Co-Parenting Matters on Blog Talk Radio

Two Daughters' Efforts To Increase Access to Healthcare and Empower Women With Cancer

2010-09-30T11:44:00.000-04:00

I know all too well what it means to lose a mother to cancer. Terry Kaye and her best friend experienced this loss too. And like so many, they wanted their mothers' deaths to have a greater meaning. But unlike most people, they put that desire into effort. The result was the founding of the Saralee and Carol Foundation -- an organization whose mission is to increase access to health care and to ensure that all women living with cancer are empowered to be their own best advocates.

For more information about the SareLee and Carol Foundation and to learn more about their project to gain a Pepsi Refresh Grant in the month of October, check out their website.

And for more information about the Mad As Hell Doctors event on October 1st, visit their site.

What's Your Type?: Interview With Author Berit Brogaard

2010-09-21T07:29:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, the line to use to describe that guy who just didn't seem to be the one to everyone but you was, "He's just not that in to you." It even spawned a book and a short lived talk show for its author.

College professor Berit "Brit" Brogaard is taking a new approach to the topic of one sided "relationships" in her upcoming book Lovesick Love. In it she describes serveral "types" of both men and women that epitomizes those who make the mistake of thinking they are in a relationship when they are really not.

For more information about Berit, visit one of her websites.

Making Wishes Come True: An Interview with Shimmy Mehta of Angelwish

2010-09-17T09:21:00.000-04:00

When you were a child did you have a special wish? Was there one toy you were desperately hoping to receive for a holiday or your birthday?

In A Christmas Story we empathize with Ralphie's childhood desire -- borderline obsession -- for the "it" toy. By contrast in Jingle All The Way we sympathize with the parental angst and guilt associated with working to get said "it" toy for our child. Now imagine this childhood desire and parental angst in the context of a family dealing with a chronic illness.

I had the pleasure of speaking with Shimmy Mehta about his organization, Angelwish, which seeks to connect community angels with children and families with wishes.

Angelwish believes that who knows better what an 8 year old child might like than another 8 year old child. Therefore, they take monetary donations and place them in the hands of volunteer youth shoppers during "Giving Sprees" at toy stores. Here is a great video about one of these wonderful events.

Kyra Sedgwick hosts the the 2nd Annual Angelwish Giving Spree from Angelwish.org on Vimeo.

For more information about Angelwish and how you can help make a wish come true, visit their website.

Everybody Wins When Everyone Can Read Well: An Interview with Everybody Wins! Executive Director Rich Greif

2010-09-13T08:30:00.005-04:00

Literacy is so important not only in academic success, but success in life. Organizations like Everybody Wins! not only address the issue of increasing literacy and appreciation for reading among young students, in the process, they are creating lasting relationships.

I had a great talk with Everybody Wins! National Executive Director, Rich Greif about this special organization and his own personal story of building long term relationships with young students.

In addition, Rich -- being the master at communication through social media -- gave some insight into how non-profits can use this powerful tool to attain and maintain relationships with partners and prospects.

For more information about Everybody Wins!... Follow them on Twitter. Connect with them on Facebook. Link up on LinkedIn. And check out their website at http://everybodywins.org/.

You Say It's Your Birthday....It's My Birthday Too-o!

2010-09-10T08:22:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to me!

Macolm Gladwell on Spaghetti Sauce: A Culinary Story of Choices and Happiness

2010-09-08T08:32:00.000-04:00

Here is an interesting video from TED. It is author Malcolm Gladwell talking about of all things....spaghetti sauce. More to the point, he is talking about how choices impact our consumerism and vice versa.

An Effort to Help the Unemployable: An Interview with George Lee of Jobs Foundation

2010-09-02T10:52:00.001-04:00

In this economy there are a lot of people looking for a job; but imagine if you were among the category of "unemployable" and looking for a job.

Someone who is unemployable does not have a job and is unlikely to get a job, because they do not have the skills or abilities that an employer might want. Likewise, certain past circumstances might impact ones chances for employment. Those who were previously incarcerated fall into this category because of potential employers' not wanting to take that leap of faith in a person's rehabilitation.

For those in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area, there is hope...in the form of George Lee and the Jobs Foundation, a non-profit whose missions is to "empower individuals toward economic stability and find personal fulfillment in their work" by providing paid on the job training to economically under served adults.

I had an opportunity to talk with George Lee about his organization and why he -- a success entrepreneur -- decided to jump into the not for profit arena.

For more information about the Jobs Foundation and how you can contribute, contact them through their website. http://www.jobsfoundation.org/

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2010-08-30T09:06:00.002-04:00

I have a friend who says he knows it's the holiday season when he sees that M&M's commercial where the M&M's see Santa Claus and he sees them and they both realize the other is "real". I know it's back to school time when I see that Staples commercial with the exuberant father and the not so exuberant kids making their way down the aisle to the sound of the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year". Funny thing is, I haven't seen that commercial this year.

Despite the lack of my visual indicator of this annual event, the new school year has indeed starting for millions of children and adults. And with this new school year, many students and their parents are also beginning to concern themselves with if this year will be successful. One of the variables in student success will be determining how a student learns and when there are challenges to the learning process, how can the parents and educators help.

I had a great talk with Tanya Mitchell of LearningRx. We talked about how we learn and what we can do to never stop learning and developing our brains.

I hope you enjoy it.

For more information about LearningRx, click your way to their website at http://www.learningrx.com/.

Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary, Haaaaap-py Anniversary!

2010-08-19T08:50:00.001-04:00

Today is my 10 year wedding annniversary. Happy Anniversary to my Tin Man! Who does have a heart.

I love you honey!

The 10th Anniversary is tin or aluminum by the way.

Interview with Jeffrey Fox

2010-08-17T20:40:00.001-04:00

Here's another interview I really enjoyed.

Are you fierce?!?

Author Jeffrey J. Fox has written a new book -- "How To Be A Fierce Competitor". I had an opportunity to talk to him about some of the things he feels are necessary to be and remain successful in our society; to be not just a competitor, but to be a fierce competitor.

I hope you enjoy our talk as much as we did.

For more information about Jeffrey J. Fox and his latest book, please visit his website.

http://www.foxandcompany.com/

Interview with Scott Harris

2010-08-11T20:45:00.001-04:00

Summertime is usually a time for tv re-runs. I've been so busy I decided to re-run a few of my favorite interview and articles from the spring. Here is one I really enjoyed I hope you do too.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Doing it well requires you to put forth some effort. To make the choice to be in goal mode and think and act strategically. This is so true when it comes to developing and implementing your marketing plan for your business or project.

I had a great talk with Scott Harris of Mustang Marketing, a full service marketing agency serving the San Fernando Valley and Ventura County, California.

If you want more information about Scott and Mustang Marketing, visit their website at www.mustangmktg.com

Happiness Is A Choice!

2010-08-06T13:38:00.000-04:00

"Happiness is a choice." This is a line I keep telling my son. Basically he’s a really cool kid with a great sense of humor, when he is so inclined. The trouble is sometimes he can, as we say in my house, fall into the martyr role. When he does, he takes on a “life is so hard” attitude.

The fact is I have been the victim of the Parent’s Curse. I have given birth to a child so much like myself -- only worse. Almost every exasperated parent has placed this curse on their own child at one time: “May you have a child just like you when you are a parent.” I am sure when I was in one of my moody moments; my mother put this curse on me.

And so, umpteen years later, I was blessed with a handsome, intelligent, creative young man, who puts my self confessed moodiness to shame. He can be the happiest child one moment and then one little thing that does not go his way and his whole day is ruined. And it is at these moments that I start the diatribe of platitudes and clichés many parents pull out:

“Do you know how lucky you are?”

“You should be grateful for all that you have!”

“You have two parents who love you, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head…”

“Do you know how many starving children there are in __________?”

And in the midst of this I also remind him that “happiness is a choice” and that he needs to choose to be happy. And guess what? There are countless adults who need to take this advice too. Are you one of them? Hey, I just admitted to you I am moody. And in recognizing this about myself, I also can choose to counteract this behavior and choose to be happy.

If you’ve been here before, you know I believe all of life – especially relationships – are a balancing act between “because of” and “in spite of” and you have to make the choice of how life’s obstacles will impact and effect your attitudes and efforts. This is no less true then when it comes to your happiness. Now don’t get it twisted. I’m not talking about people who are clinically depressed. And I’m not talking about the temporary sadness or anger that we all have a right to from time to time. This is different.

There are some people who just cannot be happy. They relish in the attention they think they are receiving by being habitually miserable and wallowing in self pity. They have so much wonderfulness that they could focus on, but they choose only to see the negative. I have a family member like this. This person does not seem to realize that they would have much better relationships if they would just tone down the negativity and try to be happy in stead of complaining all of the time. Do you know someone like this?

By contrast, I love being around those persons who can be honest about the trials they might be going through, but can see the positive things in their life too. Can you be happy in spite of the fact that your business is not doing as well as you would have hoped? Can you be happy in spite of the fact that you loss your job? Can you be happy in spite of the fact that things are not going as you planned? Of course you can. By choosing to appreciate what you do have that is good.

You can choose to wallow in your temporary misery for a few moments then – as a friend would say – you pull up your big boy britches or your big girl panties, you give yourself an attitude adjustment and you make it your goal to be happy. You make the choice to not remain in “gripe mode” but move to “goal mode” and, if it is within your power to do so, you do something about changing the circumstances.

Every day at the dinner table, I ask my son, “What was the best part of your day and the not so best part of your day?” Through this exercise we develop the habit of communication, but it also helps us illustrate a point.

Throughout any day, you may have countless things happen with you, or for you, or against you. You cannot control everything that happens to you. You can only control how you react or respond to it; how you chose to perceive it. You could have eight hours of wonderful and the last five minutes of terrible and chose to say your day was ruined based on those five minutes. Or you can decide that the best part of your day was those miserable five minutes because they made you appreciate the eight hours even more.

Happiness is a choice. What are you going to choose?

TGIF Everyone! Have a great weekend!

Sheena Iyengar on the art of choosing

2010-07-27T20:40:00.002-04:00

Here is a great TED Talk by Sheena Iyengar who does extensive research on how we make choices and our attitudes about our choices.

Interview with Ronald Kaufman of Anatomy of Success

2010-07-26T07:37:00.001-04:00

I had the pleasure of speaking to author and trainer, Ronald Kaufman about How to Get and Stay Motivated and End Procrastination!

How appropriate for a Monday morning. If you are like me you already have a weekly "to do" list that seems to have more items than there are hours in the week. Well, it's like that old joke, "How do you eat an elephant?" Answer:
"One bite at a time."

I hope you enjoy the talk, and have a productive week!

For more information about Ron and his book. Visit his site at http://www.anatomyofsuccess.com/

Teaching Entrepreneurship -- An interview with NFTE Leaders

2010-07-22T10:25:00.005-04:00

Across this country, non-profit organizations are meeting their mission of helping to improve their communities. They are meeting these quality improvement and outcome goals through the generous contributions of volunteers. This is especially true of one organization, the Network for Teaching Entrepreneurship, which relies greatly on local volunteers and business professionals to bring their experience and expertise to the next generation of business owners.

Successful entrepreneur and new author Tony Hartl has given so much to his local NFTE chapter. I had the opportunity to talked with Mr. Hartl, Laura Maczka, the Executive Director of the Dallas area NFTE, as well as Philadelphia area NFTE Executive Director, Sylvia McKinney about why teaching entrepreneurship to students is so important.

To learn more about Tony Hartl's book, visit www.sellingsunshinebook.com

To learn more about NFTE, visit their website at www.nfte.com

Creating a Powerful Brand -- An Interview with Paige Arnof-Fenn

2010-07-20T09:37:00.003-04:00

What is your brand? Have you taken the time to think about what is means to craft and cultivate a powerful brand? It doesn't matter if you are a corporation, a small business, or just an individual professional, your brand is your reputation, the calling card that precedes you.

What is your brand? Is it working for you or against you?

I had a great conversation with marketing expert and founder of Mavens & Moguls, Paige Arnof-Fenn about creating ones brand.

Enjoy.

For more information about Paige and her business, visit Mavens & Moguls online. http://www.mavensandmoguls.com/

Improving the World One Meeting at a Time -- An Interview with Miri McDonald

2010-07-14T07:38:00.000-04:00

You'd be hard pressed to find someone who says they love meetings. But they'd dislike them a little less if more meetings were productive and dare I say it...fun.

I had a great conversation with Miri McDonald, an organization development and communications strategist about how we all can have better meetings.

For more information about Miri McDonald and her services, contact her through her website http://www.mirimcdonald.com/.

Happy meetings everyone.

An Interview with Marcos J Cordero of Green Business Bureau

2010-07-12T09:20:00.000-04:00

You can care about your business and the environment. Green Business Bureau CEO Marcos J. Cordero gives you a few good reasons why and how you can benefit your business and save the planet.

For more information about the Green Business Bureau, visit their website at http://www.gbb.org/

Preserving Their Childhood Through Pictures -- An Interview with Photographer Oana Hogrefe

2010-07-09T08:56:00.005-04:00

What does every parent tell you about their children? "Oh they grow up so fast!"

So preserving our memories of our children through photgraphs becomes oh so important. Today's talk with photographer Oana Hogrefe will help you take better pictures of your children.

If you are in the Atlanta area, you can just call Oana and have her take your pictures for you.

http://www.shutterview.com/

The Lighter Side Of Finding Startup Experts

2010-07-07T20:25:00.001-04:00

The Lighter Side Of Finding Startup Experts

Interview with LisaMarie Dias

2010-07-06T12:24:00.000-04:00

Are you writing a blog or a newsletter or thinking of starting one? Then you should view this interview with LisaMarie Dias of LisaMarie Dias Designs. LisaMarie Dias Designs helps individuals and organizations "start, optimize and maintain [their] online marketing campaign".

For more information about LisaMarie and her company, visit her at http://www.lisamariediasdesigns.com/

The Family Dinner

2010-07-02T07:30:00.000-04:00

When I got married, we were a blended family. I got a bonus daughter along with a husband. I have a friend who doesn’t like the term blended family, but I don’t have a problem with it. It is rather an apropos word I think, because we had to learn to blend so many ways of doing things. For us, one of the more challenging subjects was the family dinner.

Now I must admit, in this case, when I say blend, what I really mean is I had to get my new husband and daughter to convert to my way of thinking. Many a time I ended up sitting at the dinner table by myself, because they had gobbled down their food and just got up and left me. Or in the middle of dinner one of them would get up to answer the phone. That just wasn’t how I was raised. In my house we had dinner together most nights and it was as much a family ritual as it was a routine.

Even though my father had many evening meetings with clients, he did most of the cooking and we all had dinner together prior to his going out. You did not leave the table until everyone was finished and dinner time was an opportunity to catch up with everyone, laugh, debate and communicate. Sunday dinners were an event. We usually had friends or relatives over for a big Sunday meal after church.

When we were old enough to get chores, each of us kids would do our job cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. As my father used to say, “Why do I need to buy a dishwasher? I have three.” Whoever washed the dishes cleaned the stove, counters and kitchen table. Whoever dried took out the trash to the garage and swept the floor. There was a system. If you were washing, it made sense for you to wash everything down; you already had the wet cloth. If you were drying, it made sense for you to sweep the floor; you were the last one in the room and could sweep without people in your way.

It wasn’t until I visited other people’s homes or we had friends over that I realized, yet again, we were different. I can remember one particular Sunday dinner. We were in the dining room having a wonderful meal and conversation and one of my sister’s friends from middle school was there. Without a word, when she was finished eating, she got up from the table walked out of the room, through the kitchen into the den, sat down on the couch and turned on the television. For a few seconds we all just looked at each other in silent astonishment.

I never investigated her rational for just up and leaving the dinner table, but I suspect that in her household, family dinners were not commonplace. Dinner time might have been more of a solitary event and not a time for family bonding. Maybe she was used to eating in front of the television and she was looking to get back to the familiar.

Fast forward through more years and more living experiences, I am again and again reminded of how to many, the concept of the Family Dinner it not commonplace, but something that is relegated to Thanksgiving or one of the major religious holidays. Yet, I’m here to tell you, there is more to the family dinner than just food. If it’s been awhile since you put forth the effort to make it happen for your family, now’s the time.

Take Back the Family Dinner

“It’s time to take back dinner. Put it on the front burner (pun intended) and basically stop over-scheduling your kids and start scheduling mealtimes together. We multi-taskers somehow manage to meet our work deadlines and get to our kid's baseball games on time, so why can't we actively work hard to plan our weekly meals?” says, Jeanne Muchnick, author of the new book, Dinner for Busy Moms.

Muchinick is not alone in her call to take back the family dinner. Even major brands have incorporated it into their marketing campaigns to get families together…hopefully over a serving of their product. For more than a decade there have been various calls to action by children and family advocacy groups.

The good news is, for some, there was no need to make the call. It was a part of life for Parenting and Life Coach, Barbara Desmarais. “I grew up having family dinners every night. It was the norm and when I raised my own children, it was also the norm.” For Jessie Nagel, it was so much a part of her life that it never occurred to her that not every family ate dinner together. “You might think it crazy, but I was truly surprised to learn as an adult that many families do not eat together. I was raised in a family that ate dinner together every night, with rare exception, and also enjoyed food as the center for many forms of socialization,” says the Hype, Special Agent.

For Ms. Desmarais, coming to the realization that not every family ate dinner together was a long time coming. “When my children entered high school it was the first time I found out that what we were doing was not the norm for everyone. In fact my kids felt very inconvenienced when they had to come home for dinner at a certain time and most of their friends were just eating what was in the fridge and at no set time. It saddened me that this was now a fact of life.

But if you have a protesting teenager, don’t let it get to you. You have to think long term. “Everyone benefits from family dinners. Even if a teenager complains, she or he benefits from a sense of belonging to the family group. As soon as children are old enough, they grow in self-esteem and character by taking on some responsibilities associated with the family dinner. Even a small child feels a sense of pride by performing as simple a task as placing a napkin at each place setting,” says Psychotherapist, Marcia Naomi Berger, LCSW.

Research

“Research supports that families who have dinner together several times a week have less substance abuse, better body image, do better in school,” states Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Clinical Director of Wasatch Family Therapy, Julie Hanks.

So is it that families who eat together already had the benefit of strong parenting skills and higher levels of communication? I say, in part, Who cares! If this is one of those chicken and the egg kind of scenarios and you are one of those families that are not having the family dinner on a regular basis…then start!

Maybe that will start positively impacting other family dynamics. Unless eating your mother or father’s cooking could literally be a danger to your health, only good can come from having dinner together. So order Chinese and still set the table for a family meal.

Do’s and Don’ts of Family Dinner

The family dinner table it a great time for teaching and learning, but parents still have to work at doling out those life lessons with moderation and tact. “There is so much to gain by the family dinner as long as certain ground rules are created by the family. Negotiating the ground rules and practicing them is enormously helpful in teaching children responsible behavior and in enhancing their social skills. An example would be how do we make sure everyone who wants to speak is heard without interrupting another family member. In discussion, parents can teach and model the practices necessary for good communication - seek to understand before being understood, no shaming or insulting,” says Parenting Coach Dr. Richard Horowitz.

Some of the ground rules, or do’s and don’ts of the family dinner table include respecting differences and agreeing on what will and will not be discussed. “It is important that parents do not use this mealtime to either interrogate the kids (Did you pass your test? Did you behave yourself at daycare? etc) or harangue them”, says Kathy Lynn of Parenting Today Canada.

Berger agrees. She says, “Make it a general rule for the conversation [to be] pleasant while eating. Doing so encourages healthy bonding among family members as well as good digestion. The more difficult topics and disciplinary matters can be addressed at other times. During the meal, everyone can be encouraged to share their feelings about whatever is on their mind and about how their day went.”

Raising Healthy Eaters

If you take a look at the average grade school child, you realize that we are in the midst of a childhood obesity epidemic. Even the first lady has picked up the mantle of helping our society make better choices for our children. One of those healthy choices is having more nutritious family dinners. It is at the dinner table that parents help establish a child’s relationship with food and good eating habits.

Many of us grew up being told to “clean our plates” and “not waste food”. It is at the dinner table that we either succeed or fail at helping our children learn about portion control and stopping when we are full. “At the meal table, children take important cues about healthful eating from their parents and witness what a nutritious, well-rounded meal looks like,” says Registered Dietitian, Christen Cooper. Likewise, they learn the balance between not wasting food and not encouraging over eating.

According to Nancy Piho, the author of My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus: Raising Children Who Love to Eat Everything, “Eating together as a family is vitally important in starting young kids off on the right foot of being healthful, adventuresome eaters!”

Many nutritionists and pediatricians will tell you, it can take up to 10 or 11 exposures to a food before a child will decide they like it. In many a household, including mine, parents have instituted the “No Thank You Bite” rule. Basically, it means you don’t have to eat a lot of something new, but you at least have to try it. Then you can say no thank you. It took my son about four or five “no thank you bites” before he learned to love his favorite fruit…kiwi.

As children get older, the ritual of the family dinner can be expanded to include the children in the preparation. Janet Max relishes that fact that she and her teenage daughters have made dinners together an event, one where her daughters are beginning to flex their culinary skills. Her oldest, Tasha “likes to cook, so she helps prepare meals a lot, even makes some on her own. Lately both my daughters have an obsession with sautéed onions. It’s hilarious. Tasha will cook up a whole pan full and they will fight over them.”

Encouraging children to be a part of the planning and making of the meal not only helps their self esteem, but also prepares them for a more self sufficient future.

Family Dinner as Backdrop of Family Dynamics

For so many families, the significance of Sunday (or Sabbath) dinner was magnified exponentially when interplayed with other family characteristics. When Judy Woodward Bates was very young family meals were not just about the food, it was a social event that cemented familial relationships. “My parents would always take me and my sister to a huge Sunday dinner gathering at my dad's parents’. Since I was number 34 of the 34 grandchildren and my dad was the youngest son, my grandparents were in their late 60's when I was born. Their health declined rapidly and these fun times ended by the time I was 7, but I'll never forget the organized chaos of those Sunday afternoons.

The kids were ordered to stay outside and play until the grownups had eaten and play we did! I don't think Big Mama (my grandmother) ever sat down - she was like a bustling whirlwind - running between the kitchen and dining room with mounds of fried chicken, homemade "catheads" (as my Papa called her huge fluffy biscuits) and cornbread; baked sweet potatoes; fresh field peas; sliced tomatoes and onions; and gallons of sweet tea. All that was generally followed by cutting a watermelon (and the subsequent seed-spitting contests among the grandkids) and churning homemade ice cream, with all us grandkids vying for a chance to be the one who sat on the ice cream maker while one of the men cranked it.

For Claire DeRosa, the truth of her internal family drama that was happening around the dinner table was not clear at first glance. "I grew up in a family of six. Our household included my parents, grandmother, sister and brother. We did not have much of anything. My father ate before any of us and my mother would serve him. When he was finished we would then have our dinner. My mother never sat down with us to eat. When we were finished she would then scrape the plates into hers and then eat. My mother passed away when I was 15 years old. Now years later I realize she never sat down with us because there wasnt enough food. As kids it never entered our mind what the true picture of this dinner drama was in reality."

My Blended Family

In my family, even after ten years, we are still in a continuous game of negotiation around the dinner table. My husband still eats faster than the rest of us. Now my son is the slow poke of the table, far surpassing my slow pace in the family. And my bonus daughter, who is now in college, seems to have the most challenge with the no phone rule. But just recently, after a few subtle and not so subtle hints, she left her cell phone in another room. And when I could hear the tell tale pings of her text message alerts and she didn’t rush to go pick it up, I said thank you. My son asked what I was thanking her for. I simply said, “She knows”, and smiled.

Next up...teaching her how to cook.

Marketing Strategically -- An Interview with Mustang Marketing's Scott Harris

2010-06-28T07:57:00.006-04:00

If you want more information about Scott and Mustang Marketing, visit their website at www.mustangmktg.com

Are You A Couch Potato? Then Greg Ladas Has A Diet For You.

2010-06-25T12:43:00.012-04:00

The best chance for a long and healthy life is to make the right diet and exercise choices. Most of us are not as active as we should be. For those of us who are maintaining a more couch potato existence, Greg Ladas says you can still make more healthy diet choices and still lose weight.

The author of The Couch Potato Diet, Greg Ladas took the time to be a part of the Power of CARE Talks series. Please view our conversation about his book and some choices you can make to live the Couch Potato Diet.

If you want more information about Greg Ladas and his book, visit him at his website. http://thecouchpotatodiet.net/

Interview with Author Jeffrey J. Fox of Fox and Company

2010-06-23T09:40:00.001-04:00

For more information about Jeffrey J. Fox and his latest book, please visit his website.

http://www.foxandcompany.com/

What do you care about?

2010-06-22T14:10:00.022-04:00

It's a simple question that is filled with some not so simple choices, attitudes, relationships and efforts. Some things are universal.

We all care for family...whether it is the family we are born to or the family we chose. Whether we have a good relationship or hope to make it better, our family matters to us.

We care about our health, although our diet and exercise doesn't always show it. But just wait until our health is failing or we feel our body betrays us. Then we really care about our health and we start going over in our minds if the choices we made in the past have come back to haunt us. And isn't it funny, we start thinking more and more about family and our relationships.

We care about wanting to leave a legacy. Whether it is through our children, our careers, our work to impact our communities, we want our lives to have meant something.  To leave something behind that says "we were here" and that we improved upon the world we found when we were born.

There are so many things we care about. Yet, some things are universal. While the words we use are different, the sentiments are the same.

I asked a few folks to tell me and you what they care about. Do you find your answer among them?

What do you care about?

NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT ON THIS PLANET THAN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS.

Dan Seidman
Sales Autopsy, Inc.
Barrington, IL
http://www.salesautopsy.com/

Turning the hurts of yesterday into the dreams of tomorrow.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula
http://www.doctor-ramani.com/

I care about you... because you’re worth caring about.

Chase Brumfield
The Give Project
Lafayette, LA
www.thegiveproject.com/blog

I care about Soldier suicide rates being the highest since the Vietnam war

Daniel Hutchison
Nowhere To Turn
Columbus, OH
http://www.nowheretoturnbook.com/

Forever Families Weekend Haiku

Jewish families

who are Touched by Adoption:

Together at camp!

Debbie Schwartz
Adoption Connection at Jewish Family Services of Greenwich
Greenwich, CT
http://www.njycamps.org/families/html/forever_families.html

Teaching little boys that "REAL MEN DON'T HIT GIRLS"

Bill Donovan
South Suburban Homes
http://www.psghelps.org/

Kids with learning disabilities - teach them how they learn best.

Jill Lauren,LD Specialist and Author
New York City
http://www.jilllauren.com/

Loss teaches pregnant widow to celebrate new husband and children.

Hyla Molander
http://www.dropdeadlife.net/

Like a prism, each day is a new perspective

Stacey Krinsky
PIRSSAM
Littleton, CO
http://www.prissam.net/

I care about helping children succeed in school and life.

Rich Greif, National Executive Director
http://www.everybodywins.org/

Helping people look and feel their best!

April Meese
Customized Beauty Ltd
http://www.aprilmeese.com/

Happiness needs peace, prosperity, liberty, justice and a healthy planet.

Bram Kleppner
Danforth Pewter
Middlebury, VT
http://www.danforthpewter.com/

Making practical domestic violence help available to all survivors.
Trudy Schuett
New Perspectives on Partner Abuse
Yuma, AZ
http://partnerabuse.com/

To End Mathaphobia is to End Our US Economic Fate.

Olympia LePoint
http://www.acemath123.com/

What legacy for fowl, fish, beast when humans have ceased?

Francine L. Trevens
Poet
http://www.tntclassicbooks.com/

Dogs, cats, birds, Love, safe, fun, protection, companionship, responsibility, health Dee Finch

Dee Finch
Peoplefood for Dogs
http://www.peoplefood4dogs.com/

Customers, quality, and pride are what make our community great!

Heidi Marzke
WaterField Designs/Square 2
San Francisco, CA
http://www.sfbags.com/

Evolving
Uplifting
Impacting
Inspiring
Heart
Soul
Spirit
Union
Love

Jasmine Kaloudis
Synergy By Jasmine - Yoga for Couples
http://synergybyjasmine.com/

Keeping the elderly young in spirit through interactions with teens.

Philicia Tan
GG Correspondent
GlamourGals Foundation
Commack, NY
http://www.glamourgals.org/

Writing's more than my livelihood: it's my lifeblood, raison d'tre

Cynthia MacGregor
freelance writer
http://www.cynthiamacgregor.com/

Emotions cause all disease. People need to know to heal.

Terri Jay
http://www.terrijay.com/

I care about preventing child abuse--it's a grown up problem.

Jen Floro
Emerald Coast Children’s Advocacy Center
Niceville, FL
http://www.eccac.org/

Bryce, Maggie, Zivah, Josh, my extended family, writing, and music.

Holly Chessman
http://www.hollychessmanmarketing.com/

LIVING MY LIFE LIKE AN ADVENTURE

Scott Gabriel Hummel
Gabriel Hummel International
http://www.GabrielHummel.com/

Empowering consumers with information to avoid home remodeling nightmares.

Jody Costello
[Pre]modeling Authority / Consumer Advocate
http://www.contractorsfromhell.com/

Family
Faith
Freedom
Friendship
French Fries
(Not necessarily in this order!)   :)

Shayla C. Perry
Just Per(ry)fect!
http://www.justperryfect.com/

Tell about what I do care?
I would not dare.

Pablo Solomon
Artist & Designer
http://www.pablosolomon.com/

Intentional selection of entertainment as a tool to reinforce desires.

Rosemarie Ashley
a 'tude vox for Transformation
http://www.sassyalternativemusic.com/

Health

Family

Friends

Career

Finances

Home

Personal Development

Having Fun

Daniel Slattery
Health Ed Dimensions International
http://www.initiativesforlife.com/

That everything I do makes the world a better place.

Arash Sayadi
http://www.iengineer.net/

RAISING MY CHILDREN TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND TO BE SOCIETAL ASSETS.

Jennifer Vanderslice
MoonGlow PR
http://www.moonglowpr.com/

I care about empowering families

Susan Tordella
Raising Able
http://www.susantordella.com/

My mother’s happiness while she battles Lou Gehrig's disease.

Etta Wilson
C My Skin
http://www.cmyskin.com/

Improving people’s lives by teaching meditation, dream interpretation, and concentration.

Laurel Clark
School of Metaphysics
Windyville, MO
http://www.som.org/

I CARE ABOUT REGAINING MY SANITY, STOLEN IN 2004

Shirley
http://www.proorganizer.com/

Sparking a national grassroots school reform movement to empower communities!

Jacqueline Edelberg
How to Walk to School
Chicago, IL
http://www.howtowalktoschool.com/

Do what makes you truly happy.
Everything else will follow.

Kevin Kato
http://www.kevinkato.com/

Help me God I find it so hard to feel.

Ellen Pober Rittberg
"35 Things Your Teen Won’t Tell You So I Will"
http://www.ellenpoberrittberg.com/

Listen, Compassion, Connection, Kindness, Support, Reducing pain and Suffering, Making a difference.

Ronald Stram, MD
The Center for Integrative Health and Healing
Delmar, NY
http://www.cihh.net/

Families learning to live life after death of a child.

Kara L.C. Jones
Grief & Creativity Coach,
http://www.motherhenna.com/

Emotional synch

With family, nature, self

My entire world.

Cyndi Pauwels
Spring Valley, OH
http://cpatlarge.blogspot.com/

Literacy care: Winged words nest in an open heart

Tom Bentley
Writing and Editing Services
http://www.tombentley.com/

A world with love, compassion, healing along with full accountability.

Michelle Fryer
T.O.O.B. LLC
http://thinkoutofbox.com/

Heart grieves; eyes weep for oil-covered birds and beasts.

Judith Lawrence
Author
http://www.judithlawrence.ca/

The Pure Joy of Relationships That Knew Me When

Sharon Gilchrest ONeill, Ed.S., LMFT
Psychotherapist/Author
http://www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com/

Family, Friends, and FunCapturing Joy on the RunONE

Annie Burnside, M.Ed.,
Soul nurturer, author, public speaker and teacher
http://www.annieburnside.com/

Love and possibility - the magic in everyday life.

Pat Chiappa
Author
http://www.planyourbestyear.com/

What do you care about? Add yours to our list.

"10 Holistic Health Tips That Can Kill You If Ignored" -- an Interview with Dr. Tom Potisk

2010-06-21T12:03:00.001-04:00

Most of us are trying to make healthy choices in our diet and exercise habits; or at the very least we are trying to try.

I recently had a talk with Dr. Tom Potisk, the "Down-to-Earth" Doctor who says there are "10 Holistic Health Tips That Can Kill You If Ignored".

Enjoy.

For more information about Dr. Potisk visit his site at www.tompotisk.com

My Book Love Story

2010-06-16T12:31:00.003-04:00

With this being the week before Father’s Day it is ironic that several of the stories I am working on make me think of my father and my childhood. I was blessed with two great parents from whom I learned a great deal. Their greatest legacy is the sum of the lessons they taught me and my brother and sister that we are instilling in our own children; not the least of these is a love of learning…a love of books. And I have my father to thank for my general love affair with books, but in particular my true book love story -- The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck

Education was very important in our household. Even during the summer months it was not unheard of to have a book report required by my father. He was always giving us books that he felt we needed to read. Some stick out. Others are vaguely familiar. I couldn't tell you the general plot of Jonathan Livingston Seagull if you paid me; but I remember all three of us being required to read it and our appreciating its shortness. However, The Good Earth is one I remember and one that became my favorite book of all time.

Not only is the book a great story full of life lessons, the story surrounding my discovery of it is a lesson in "father knows best". I was a teenager in high school. My dad gave me the book and told me I should read it. Several days later, he asked if I had started it. Nope. I got one of those disapproving looks and was reminded to begin reading it...soon. He gave me a little more time. A few days later he asked me if I had started the book. Nope. Okay, now he’d had enough. At that moment I was ordered up to my room and I had to begin reading the book. After a few pages of Buck’s wonderful story telling I was hooked. Oh, crap! My father was right...again. The book was great!

Over the years I have read it over a dozen times. It speaks to my love of a good story, my love of learning about cultural differences, my love of history, my love of examining the human condition and interpersonal relationships. The book just has so much to offer. I think it was an influence in my desire to learn more about Asian cultures.

In college I learned that it was in fact the first in a trilogy, but was saddened to find out that books two and three were out of print. In grad school I found book two in the university library and tried to read it, but it just wasn’t as good as The Good Earth. So I read that again. I’ve never even sought out book three in the trilogy. Wow, I think it may be time to read it again.

In thinking about my love of The Good Earth, I thought I would ask a few folks to talk about their favorite book. The one they have read over and over again…their book love story.

WHAT IS YOUR BOOK LOVE STORY?

My favorite book, the one I've read every few years for the past 25 years, is J.D. Salinger's Nine Stories. He's known, of course, for Catcher in the Rye, but I find Nine Stories so much more subtle, and so thought-provoking. It centers me, reminding me of who I am as both a person and a writer.

I gravitate toward the various philosophies, both Western and Eastern that inform the book. He's never in the reader's face about them, but they're quietly at work in almost all of the stories with a message of mindfulness, and of appreciation for the connections we make with each other as humans.

As well, each story is simply so entertaining as a study of character, body language, setting, and theme. I teach both high school and university writing classes, and I never fail to recommend Nine Stories as my favorite book and one which I hope my students will read. Most of them find that they love it as much as I do!
Melissa Hart
Author, Journalism Teacher
http://www.melissahart.com/

I keep returning to The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

In 2002 this boyfriend and I broke up, but for Christmas a few months later he still got me a gift, this book. The first time I read it was on a road trip from Southern California to Arizona and back over a weekend. At first I thought it was his way of saying he would someday come back to me. I soon realized he wasn't coming back but I kept reading it over and over. For me the book has become a foundation for my beliefs, that the world ever so gently coaxes us toward what we are supposed to do, suppose to become, in life. If we listen closely enough, and look for signs we can choose to follow our dreams and fulfill our purpose in life, but all too often we get carried away in the day to day and lose our purpose, lose our way. Whenever I'm starting to feel like my life isn't moving forward, like I'm losing my way, I re-read this book. I've given it as a gift over a dozen times. It's written so simply, but so elegantly. It's like the peoples poetry, using words everyone can understand but no one else can put together quite like Coelho. As an atheist, this story is akin to my bible, it has morals and representational characters and lessons about how love makes up the fabric of the universe. This book got me addicted to Coelho and while I will buy and read all of his books, nothing quite compares.
Sierra Webb
Town of Apple Valley
Public Relations Specialist
www.facebook.com/AppleValleyCA

Looks like you aren't the only one who loves it.

My favorite book is The Alchemist.

Everyone has their own interpretation, but to me, it isn't just a wee man wondering around in the desert. It's a giant (well, 100 page) metaphor on a successful way to approach life. It should be mandatory reading - once you've gotten out of school/university though. And you'll probably have to read it again later, so you appreciate it for what it is.
Andrew Hayes
http://www.twitter.com/andrewghayes

There are handfuls of books that I would certainly say that I've read many times over the years. And though it's hard to name just one, I'll name the one that popped into my head first. The Stand by Stephen King.

Yes, I know it may be an odd choice. I don't remember when I read it for the first time and I certainly couldn't tell you how many times over the years I've read it. The biggest reason is the comfort factor. I've reread it so many times for the same reason I aways eat chicken soup when I have a cold. Or crave hot chocolate on a cold rainy day. The comfort factor. When things aren't going right in my life I know I can count on the Stand to make me forget for awhile. And if I'm just lacking a better book to read, I can rely on the fact that the Stand will entertain me.

I read it while I was a lovelorn angst ridden teenager. I read it while my boyfriend, the man I would later marry, spent the first two years we were together on the road. When I miscarried my first child I crawled in bed and read the Stand. When my parents divorced. While I was in labor with my son. Camping in the mountains, lounging on the beach, or cooped in a hotel room far from home. The Stand has always been my companion and friend. Always there with the promise that no matter how bleak life may look at any given moment, that there is always a future to look forward to. And that no matter how much evil there is in the world, it will never outweigh the good.
Meghan Harvey
http://meghankharvey.wordpress.com/

My favorite book: The Magic of Thinking Big

Because it’s simply amazing and ever so inspiring to strive for the best in me!

LOVE IT!
Steffany Boldrini
www.ecobold.com

My favorite book is The Awakening by Kate Chopin.

I first read it as required literature reading in college, and have read it at least 10 more times since then. Even though the book was written in a different time/place, I always feel the struggles for the main character has remained timeless. Whether you have children, don't have children, work, don't work, it doesn't matter; you can identify with her thoughts and feelings throughout the book. The ending may not be a happy one, but it's one of the few endings I truly feel completely fits the book. To me, there is no other way to realistically end the story. We miss out on that in current literature and fiction writing. It seems writers are afraid to end the book with a solid ending. They look either to wrap it up in a cute, happy little bow or leave it open for possible sequels.

Each time I read it, I'm reminded to embrace my own personal "awakenings".
Jill Heisterkamp
Director of Media Relations
Heiste Communications
www.heiste.com

One book which really deserves a lot of recognition is Shadow of the Sword by Jeremiah Workman. This really is a powerful book of a Marine who was awarded the Navy Cross (The second highest award that can be given.) This book truly helped me through a rough period of my life after I returned home from Iraq. It really takes you into the world of PTSD and it let me know that I was not alone during my struggles reintegrating back to civilian life.
Daniel Hutchison
Author
www.nowheretoturnbook.com

My favorite book that I have read over and over is The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. My father recommended it to me when I was in high school because I was scared of storms, I think. Anyway, I have re-read it during every crisis and happiness. It's a book that I find hope and guidance for life's curve balls.

P.S I am 52 now and still have my copy from high school. I have never loaned it out but prefer to buy friends their own copy.
Cindy Giles

I read Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited every year - and it seems strange that this dusty relic of a vanished world means so much to me. It’s a story about an aristocratic family in England in the 1920s and 30s, but it’s narrated by a friend of that family, Charles Ryder, during World War 2.

It is a magnificent, beautifully-written and incredibly moving book. I read it for the first time when I was 15 - it had been one of my mother’s favorites and I finally succumbed to her encouragement to read it. I have now not lasted a year without returning to its pages for timely insights into my own journey through life. Every time I curl into whichever battered paperback copy I’ve got closest to hand, I feel like I, too, am coming home.
Van Badham
Author, Literary Manager, Freelance Writer and Dramaturge
www.vanbadham.blogspot.com

I've read, re-read and re-read Roger Zelazny's Nine Princes in Amber Series - A total of ten books now available as a single anthology called The Amber Chronicles. Roger Zelazny was an incredible writer in his own right and his swan song is The Amber Chronicles. There are so many elements that make the books re-readable a hundred times over without even a hint of boredom creeping in.

Zelazny wrote endlessly about family squabbles, quarrels and cabals -- something we can all relate to at one point or another in our lives. On a related note -- Machiavelli himself could study the Amber novels to gain new ideas and insights on how to best his opponents politically or otherwise. Zelazny wove the very best elements of fantasy into the fabric of modern-day reality with a very "believable" twist making The Amber Chronicles a fiction series that ANYONE can enjoy. The rich references to a cross-section of our culture - from nouveau riche to old money to ivy leaguers to hippies to royalty to vagrants, vagabonds and viceroys -- there's something in there for EVERYONE.

I first read The Amber Series some twenty-five years ago - when I was a teenager and I can credit Roger Zelazny for schooling me in gentlemanly behavior, philosophy AND real-world grit when I was a youngster. During my 20s and 30s the occasional re-read would leave me wiser and shaking my head in wonder at how many times Zelazny hit home with his writing on a myriad of subjects. Now that I'm past the big 4-0 I can sit down and read the novels again and walk away with even more appreciation, understanding and awareness of just how deep Zelazny's Amber universe ran - and still be endlessly entertained. The Amber Chronicles is on my coffee table and I'm roughly one third through -- yet again.
Howard Sherman
www.malinche.net

My favorite all time book is Rachael Carson's 1956 A Sense of Wonder.

I have 11 1/2 grandchildren and I read it each time another one is born to remind me of my role as their grandmother in nurturing their natural sense of wonder of the world around them. To this day, one of their favorite things to do with me is to go on a nature walk and we try to learn and discover at least one new thing every day. Even my little ones can identify a female cedar tree from a male and it is exciting to see their excitement!

I don't have any one copy that is all marked up....because I keep getting new ones and giving my old ones away. Once I show it to a friend...especially someone who has never read it...it usually touches their heart and spirit like it touched mine so many years ago when I was a brand new mother in 1973 and read it for the first time and oh how I wanted to help keep my child's sense of wonder alive and vibrant! In my opinion, this book will never be outdated....and in fact, it seems to be more applicable all the time! I also like this book because its effects go beyond its covers...it is not completely read unless it is lived....it is what I call a "living" book.
Cathy C. Runyan-Svacina
http://themarblelady.com

Over the winter I read Four Hour Work-Week, which I borrowed from the library. I liked it so much I bought three copies - one for me and one each for my twin 22-year-old sons.

Author Timothy Ferriss details (and I mean details) many extraordinary steps and guidelines for taking one's passion and monetizing it. Most important to me is that it provides a roadmap to earning non-linear income. Linear income has been vexing me for several years now. So this book is now one of my most valuable resources. He also points out the folly of doing things that are not of value to one's personal mission and goals, and that includes working 40 years/40 hours per week for the CHANCE that you get to enjoy some moderately comfortable retirement. I even emailed Mr. Ferriss' VA and, through her, sent him my thanks. BTW- EVERYone would benefit from his policy on handling email correspondence. Though I admittedly have not been able to bring myself to implement it! It is brutal. I am happy to share more about my love for this book, certainly one of the best of the dozens I have devoured over recent years.
Ron Kaplan
Surf Ohio LLC
www.surfohio.com

The book I cannot get enough of is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

It’s usually always classified as an all-American novel, but to me it has a deeper significance of my American teenagerhood and trying to grow into myself. I read it the first time my sophomore year of high school, and trust me; the book is covered with class scribbles, highlighting marks, and post-its. The symbolism is amazing with the green light and its parallels to money, but it’s more symbolic towards the awkwardness of being a teenager while reading it. Whenever I had to read that book for "homework" (and it definitely didn’t feel like homework), I was able to escape to a land of reshaped American dreams and ideals. To this day, I read this book once in a while and I can image the certain passages I am reading and the certain feelings I was feeling in my life. It truly is a book love story.
Caroline Radaj
Student
University of Wisconsin - Madison

When I was in my late twenties, I went on vacation to Prince Edward Island (P.E.I.) Canada. I was only tangentially aware of Lucy Maud Montgomery's writing (she wrote the Anne of Green Gables series). I visited her childhood home, where she wrote the series and purchased several of her books, most of which were not available in the U.S. My very favorite book, after devouring most of her work, has got to be The Blue Castle.

The main character, Valancy, is a spinster, living with her disapproving mother and spinster auntie. Everything Valancy does, says and thinks is suspect. She's constricted on all sides by her society and family roles. Then, after suffering mysterious chest pains, Valancy secretly goes to see the doctor who leaves her breathless with a diagnosis that her condition is fatal and she only has one year to live. THAT's when the story gets interesting. I love, love, love the change in Valancy at this pivot point in the story. I also love the feeling I get when I reread this book. I'm left with the feeling that if Valancy can change her life that drastically, I can, too.

Every time I open those yellowed pages, I'm swept back to a picturesque island beach, while my two sons make sand castle after sand castle as the sun drops into the Atlantic Ocean. My sons were five and seven when we visited P.E.I. They're now twenty seven and twenty nine, but I still remember those golden days we spent together. The races across the kitchen floor with Abbott and Costello (their lobster dinners), the times just spent hanging out together, and the never to be forgotten times when they were both small.
Cherie K. Miller
Wisdom Creek Press
http://wisdomcreekpress.com/

My favorite books to reread to my kids are by E.B. White: Trumpet of the Swan, Charlotte's Web & Stuart Little. I read all three when I was a child in the 70s and have read all three to my oldest 3 kids. Number 4 needs a couple of years, but I have the originals saved for him.

My favorite book to read to myself is Great Expectations. The heartbreak and redemption is overlapped on stark reality and neurotic love is breathtaking.
Jules Zunich
Z Group PR
www.zgrouppr.com

I first read Gravity’s Rainbow during a backpacking trip through Europe at age 20. In London, in fact, where much of the book takes place. I’m reading it now, at age 50 for the 3d time, which is unusual in that I read so much I have only read one other book twice.

Gravity’s Rainbow is (something its virtually never given credit for) soulful, hilarious, a searching meditation on our contemporary condition and what got us here, encyclopedic, and endlessly mind-blowing, a trait that makes my current re-read incredibly gratifying. I see it now, I think, something that at age 20 I couldn’t possibly presume to understand while understanding nonetheless for certain that within its endless digressions into matters I never had even imagined but knew were vital to know
Peter Friedman
Associate Professor, Legal Analysis & Writing
Case Western Reserve University School of Law
http://blogs.geniocity.com/friedman/

There is one book in my life that I keep returning to at different point in my life. I have ended up reading it every couple of years over the past 15 years.

The book is The Little Prince by St. Antoine Exupery. I first read the novel (in English) in my French Class when I was 13. On my first reading it seemed straightforward and I loved it. A few years later it was assigned a second time for class. This time it was read on a deeper level looking at the historical context of the story. Again I loved it but for a new reason. The third time I read the book was also for class but this time in French and a whole new level was opened for me.

After high school, there was no need for me to read this book again but I found myself buying different editions of it whenever I would come across one in bookstores and then sitting down to reread in one sitting. Also lending and giving copies as gifts to children and adults alike. Every time I have gone back to reread the book it has illuminated something new that relates to my life in the present, whether it be love, work, friendship, obligation etc. And every time I cry, laugh and fall in love all over again. It is the only book that I continue to learn from and has stood the test of time. It is ageless.

In fact, I think it is time for me to read it again now!
Genvieve Goldstein

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug." Thus begins my favorite book. The book of course is Louisa M. Alcott's Little Women.

I read it first when I was about ten years old. I'd been pestering my mom for something new to read. She rifled through her shelves and handed me a fat old book, a bit tattered around the edges. I was skeptical--then I was absorbed. I laughed at Meg's misadventures in being a governess, got angry at Amy's vicious teacher, sobbed my heart out when Beth died, and sighed with happiness when Jo finally embraced her professor.

As I read and re-read my vocabulary expanded to include words like garret, conservatory, and tarlatan. At times the Civil War era seemed more real to me than my own, and I would worry that Father would never make it safely home.

Little Women accompanied me to sleep away camp, on high school sports trips, and to college. It was the only book I took with me when I went to Russia for a summer study program. Each time I read it I found some new meaning. When my fourteen year old heart broken by my first boyfriend I read Amy and Laurie's love story and took comfort in happy endings. When I was nervous about a new teaching job I reminded myself the students couldn't possibly be worse than the spoiled brats Meg had to teach.

I'm in my thirties and I still read Little Women. The one I "borrowed" from my mom is now much tattered around the edges and retired to my cedar chest. My working copy is a cheap paperback, dog-eared and falling apart. Right now my bookmark (one I picked up in middle school) is at the chapter where Jo leaves home to teach in the city. I think I'll go join her.
Crystal Taggart

My favorite book is The Long Walk: The True Story of a Trek to Freedom by Slavomir Rawicz .

I love it because it's true, it's a great story, it's about overcoming impossible obstacles, it has one of the oldest stories about yetis in it, it was written by a military man who knows how to observe clearly and closely, yet can also talk about his and others' emotions and why they do what they do. It covers everything: adventure, war, love, nature, survival, man's inhumanity to man, different cultures, extreme weather and habitats, strange situations including luck and torture.

The problem with this book is that I keep buying it to give to friends, but I always reread it, give it away, and then buy another copy!

P.S. I'm a librarian and I've read tons of books! This is still my favorite.
Linda McCracken

My favorite book is The Secret of Inner Strength by Chuck Norris. Seriously.

I first read it in 1989, not long after it was published, and have read it about 6 times over the past 12 years. Each time I have renewed my awe that someone at the absolute bottom of the economic ladder could climb to the absolute top - all while having high integrity, honesty, and resiliency that most of us dream about. More importantly, reading Chuck's story (repeatedly) helped me get through a very, very tough 2 years of unemployment (from 1990 - 1992), as it served as the fuel for my motivation to keep persevering through those hard years.

In 1992, when Chuck was doing a tour for his then-recently released movie, Sidekicks, I brought my dog-eared copy to my local theater, where he was signing autographs. While the rest of the group all told him how much they loved his movies, I quietly thanked him for helping me get through my difficult years, and giving me the strength and courage to start my own business (which was flourishing). He seemed genuinely touched, and as he signed my book, I encouraged him to write another book to continue to share his lessons on pulling ourselves out of difficulties. He laughed and said "I don't know... that first one almost killed me!", but in 1996 he did release another (the first is still my favorite).
Dave Sears
CEO
www.YouFloral.com

I keep re-reading an English translation of Cervantes' Don Quixote because of its universal characters and compelling story.

I read it the first time when I was in junior high school Spanish class. We actually did read parts of it in Spanish. The teacher told us we should read it three times in our life, as a young person, in middle age and in old age because the story changes as your point of view changes. I have far exceeded that recommendation.

When I was in high school, I read it again because I was still taking Spanish and "The Man of LaMancha" opened off-Broadway. I fell in love with the musical and have seen it many times since. The last time I re-read Don Quixote was when I turned 50; he is 50 in the story. I was appalled at how they treated the "old man" especially when I did not feel at all old at that age. I am always struck at how, even in the 16th century, people are people. We have not changed all that much.

I want to read it again, but in Spanish. I need a lot of work to get there. I am still not fluent.
Susan Bender Phelps
Odyssey Mentoring
www.OdysseyMentoring.com

Susan...one of my favorite words is quixotic. You don't get to use it often in every day conversation though. :-)

All Men Are Cremated Equal: My 77 Blind Dates -- it is perfect for reading on a plane, on the beach, or at the pool. This book sits on my nightstand. I've read it about 20 times, and I pick it up whenever I lose faith in dating. (Which is about once a week!)

All Men Are Cremated Equal: My 77 Blind Dates was a winning and energetic read that I savored like creamy Swiss chocolate! This gal wanted the love of her life to show up sooner than later, so she got off the couch and went out the door to find him. When she ends her engagement in her mid-30s, Elizabeth decides she is going to take matters into her own hands. She makes a list of unswayable dating criteria, or "The Big Ten" as she likes to say, and then gives her friends and relatives the green light to set her up on blind dates. Elizabeth remained determined to carry out her dating rules, and no matter what discards were sent her way, she stayed animated throughout, and ultimately wins her hand by playing close to the vest.

I recommend this memoir because it is a complete hoot, and everyone will for sure roll their eyes at her dates. (Some are pretty wacky!) But mostly, Elizabeth will inspire women to be true to themselves since she is such a fine example of a quality woman who did not succumb to settling for half a loaf.

Can you tell I was inspired?
Melanie Finnegan

The best book ever written - 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

It doesn't matter how many times I read it, there is something I missed each times. The characters are so fantastic and the detailed descriptions are phenomenal. I read it for the first time in my late teens. I am now in my early 40s. It is one of my favorite gifts to give people and while I may not re-read it every year, I doubt 2 years go by without another pass. It is easy to be transported to a totally different world through his exceptional prose and once begun, a very hard book to put down.
Patricia Fragen
Business Consultant / QuickBooks Advisor
www.strategicofficesolutions.net/prstore.html

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

Her descriptions of characters and scenes always ring true, and her action scenes make you feel like you're right there. I can't even tell you how many times I've read this book since first reading it in my 9th grade English class. My original paperback is now just separate sheets, no longer bound together.
Lynn Thompson
Thompson Writing & Editing, Inc.
www.thompsonwriting.com

One of my favorite books is The Hotel New Hampshire.

I loved The World According To Garp and so picked up Irving's next book. It became a sort of bible for my family when my parents divorced and my mother had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a private mental hospital. In fact, my brother had t-shirts made up that said, "camp roth" on the front and "where life is serious but art is fun" an important line in the book. When my husband and I started dating I gave him the book to read as the best way to know me and my family. The book really resonated with me because it was all about a family who was incredibly eccentric and loved one another fiercely. As I write this I realize I am due to read it again.
Debbie Roth Fay
bespeak presentation solutions
www.bespeakpresentations.com

The book that I have read over and over again, even as an adult (I have a copy at my parents house that I sometimes read when I go visit them!) is the Black Stallion by Walter Farley.

I certainly had every little girl's love of horses, and read nearly every horse book I could get my hands on, but none of them really sparked my imagination like the Black Stallion. The Black Stallion had a world where I could completely lose myself, but unlike more fluffy horse fiction, it is a world of consequences. Alec really could have died on the island and not even Bear Grylls could have done a better job at surviving. The Black really was the center of an international legal battle with conflicting documents, claims, and jurisdiction.

All of that aside and before I even knew what legal jurisdiction was, I wrote a short novel about me riding the Black Stallion in the Kentucky Derby and dealing with the horrific situation of losing the tack on our flight. Yes, at age 10 I thought people flew their horses around. It’s like the boat in the original story right? Despite my not quite so realistic story and imagination and my drawings of horses that have funny looking legs (one admittedly looks more like a goat than a horse) my early authorship is still sitting on my parent's bookshelves like I was on par with the Random House and McGraw Hill published writers on either side. So move over highly paid authors, my imaginary horse and I are going to board a plane and fly into a spot above you on the bestseller list.
Martha Ciske
Technology & Social Media Account Executive
PR/PR Public Relations
www.prpr.net

The book I keep going back to is one about how to be assertive without being aggressive -- When I Say No I Feel Guilty by Manual Smith, PhD. When I have to handle a difficult situation and I am afraid I am going to lose my cool, I go back and read the book again.
Marianne

I've read Don't Shoot the Dog by Karen Pryor at least ten times.

Its dog-eared pages and highlighted passages are like old friends to me. I like reading and re-reading my notes and even making new notes. It was written as a resource for how to get along with people, how to change habits (theirs and yours), but it's been adopted by dog trainers. It's a bible on how to modify behavior. The basic laws of behavior are written in the book and every time I read it again, I learn something new. Or find something I can apply in a different situation in my life. I couldn't get by without it.

As a dog trainer, I use the principles every day when working with both the dog and the owner. And as a wife, I find it crazy-useful when my husband's habits are getting ready to send me over the edge. I just crack open the book to the right chapter and I'm armed with easy and fun ways to help my husband pick up his socks off the floor -- without nagging! This is one book I couldn't live without.
Laurie Luck
Smart Dog University
www.smartdoguniversity.com

My absolute favorite book is The Forever War by Joe Haldeman.

I served in the Navy for about five years and that’s where I first read this. It’s a parable about war and how you can never really come home afterward. Home is a place we’ve idealized and dreamt about for so long after serving in the military, that when you return, it can never possibly be as good as how you remember it. Aside from the book speaking to me on a service member level, it’s just a fantastically well written story. The dialogue is moving and you really care about the main character by the end. Plus it's sci-fi, which I love and deals with the effects of near light speed travel (you barely age while traveling close to the speed of light, while everyone on Earth you left behind gets much older or dies during your journey).
Travis Clark
Going to the Sun Marketing
www.gttsmarketing.com

My favorite is The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

I've read it 10 times or more and love its sense of journey. It's a tale of movement, physical, emotional, chronological. I go with Huck and Jim down the river, threading its tight places, fearing its snags, reveling in its high-noon brilliance, despairing its desolate, blinding fogs. Spirits rise and sink; there is an ebb and flow to the book that reflects Twain's humor and hijinks, his exploration of man's cruelties and shortcomings. The river is life itself, all its changes, captivations, challenges--I journey anew every time I move through the book's pages. The book is so much Twain, cantankerous, doleful, lyrical, uproarious, scruffy and penetrating. I think Huck Finn is the greatest creation of our greatest writer. I'm lucky: I can stop Huck before he lights out for the territories--I can go back to page one and start all over again.
Tom Bentley
The Write Word
www.tombentley.com

The book that I have read many times is Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

I have taken it off my book shelves each December since 1985; it has become a Christmas tradition—it just speaks of the Christmas season to me. I love Dickens’ long descriptive passages; the familiar spoken words of each character; the redemptive story of Scrooge; and the hope it gives that all people will one day become good and care for one another.
Judith Lawrence
www.judithlawrence.ca

The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood by Brad Berkowitz

I have re-read it several times. This is a must read for men and women because it has humor and practicality. You learn from it and realize you were in some of those situations. You reread this book to learn again, laugh again and suggest it to other people.
Dan

I'm noting a small trend...

One book I just re-read is The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood: Lessons Learned Over the Past 20 Years by Brad Berkowitz. I think in these times of dating uncertainty, especially in a big metropolis such as New York, Brad's insight into the world of dating provides to the point advice which is wrapped up in humor and charm. Definitely a good buy and something that has value when going through a second time, third time, etc.
Harry

Hey Dan & Harry, do you two know Brad? Do you know each other? :-)

Thank you to all of you who shared your book love stories. I think my summer reading list just increased.

Interview with Grant Harris of Image Granted

2010-06-15T11:39:00.002-04:00

It's so amusing to me that in recent years, men who have shown an obvious choice to put forth some effort in their grooming and attire have gotten so much attention. It has even warranted new vocabulary...can you say metrosexual?

I guess my perspective is very different. For me, men putting forth some effort to look well groomed was just a given. I grew up with a father who knew how to dress and dress well. In fact, it wasn't until I was in college that I recalled seeing my father in a pair of jeans. Between him and my mother, I'd much rather have gone shopping with him. He had better taste and wasn't afraid to pay for quality. He knows his stuff. To this day if he asks me if I know of a certain designer and I say no he looks at me with a "how could you not know" look. He taught me what it meant to purchase "investment pieces" and how to build up an accessories wardrobe. I learned a long time ago, that although clothes don't make the person, you say a lot about yourself by the package you present to the world through your choice of attire.

So when I had the chance to talk with image consultant, Grant Harris, who specializes in helping men develop and improve their personal style, it wasn't hard for me to appreciate the work that he does. For although many things may be obvious to folks like me and my father, there are still many a male out there who could use their own session of What Not to Wear.

I hope you enjoy our talk.

For more information about Grant Harris and his company, Image Granted, LLC of Washington DC, contact him at corporate@imagegranted.com.

Interview with Maggie Macaulay of Whole Hearted Parenting

2010-06-14T07:00:00.004-04:00

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding but most challenging roles you will ever have. This talk with parenting expert Maggie Macaulay of Whole Hearted Parenting will give you some tips on how to make better choices when it comes to building that relationship with your child(ren) and creating a more cooperative and cohesive family.

For more information about Seminars from Whole Hearted Parenting, please visit their website at http://www.wholeheartedparenting.com/

Interview with Ian Coburn

2010-06-11T07:30:00.004-04:00

I had a funny and informative talk with author Ian Coburn about one of my favorite topics.....Choices. Specifically, we talked about how we make them and how we can make better choices.

Ian is a former comedian and author of two books. We talked mostly about his latest book: Choice - the Meaning of LIFE.

For more information about Ian and his books, visit him at his website, http://www.bestpossiblechoice.com/

Interview with Deesha Philyaw of Co-Parenting 101 Website

2010-06-09T07:30:00.007-04:00

In this society filled with divorced parents and never married parents, the issue of Co-Parenting is very important. The compromises and balancing acts that must exists when you are trying to raise healthy, happy and well adjusted children in multiple households can be even greater than those in a two-parent "traditional" household. Whatever that is. What is traditional anymore?

I had a great talk with Deesha Philyaw, one of the co-creators of a website dedicated to achieving success in co-parenting....www.coparenting101.org

I hope you enjoy our talk as much as we did.

For more information about Co-Parenting, visit the website http://www.coparenting101.org/

The Amination of Motivation

2010-06-08T14:56:00.006-04:00

"People arrive motivated. What we have to figure out is what de-motivates them and stop doing that."
-- W. Edwards Deming

I love this quote by Deming. It speaks to the fact that we spend so much time and effort trying to figure out how to motivate people, our employees, our students, our family members; yet, what we need to focus more on is what we have done to actually demotivate them.

Most people do not start a job thinking, "I'm going to do the least amount of work I can just to get by and not get fired." Most people don't start a marriage saying, "I'm not going to work at this marriage because I don't care about this person." Think about the effort and motivation to learn of the average kindergartner and compare it to the average high school student. MOST people, start any new relationship or job or task, with the intention of being the best they can be and putting forth their best effort.

So how do we end up from there to having to terminate people for poor work performance, high rates of divorce and children dropping out of school? Well, countless books and articles have been written about how we are screwing up the workplace, schools and the institution of marriage.

Here is a great YouTube video from RSA Animate that illustrates - no pun intended - what I've been trying to teach people and organizations about Effort and Motivation. Move away from those old (and wrong) ways you incentivize wanted behavior and get more to the heart of what people truly care about. Because guess what? Success in any endeavour involves understanding the links between motivation and effort.

Interview with Constance Hoffman of Social & Business Graces, Inc.

2010-06-07T09:16:00.002-04:00

Well with this being National Business Etiquette Week, what better way to start the week than a conversation with a business etiquette expert.

It was my pleasure to have an excellent talk with Constance Hoffman of Social & Business Grace, Inc. We discussed her tips for making a good first impression. Enjoy.

If you'd like more information about Constance and her company's services, visit her website at www.LearnSocialGraces.com

Note: The National Business Etiquette Week was started by the Protocol School of Washington. Their website indicates the week as June 1st through the 7th. However, many other mentions of the week on the internet has it celebrated the week of June 7th through the 12th. Since there is never a bad week to show class and respect for others, we are recognizing it this week too.

Interview with Cynthia Kazalia of New Directions Career Center

2010-06-02T09:25:00.005-04:00

This is the time of year that many young college and high school grads are looking to secure that first real job. Getting a job and keeping a job always requires putting forth the right effort and making good choices. Yet, now more than ever, those entering - or re-entering - the job market have to be more professional and strategic in their daily actions and interaction with colleagues and supervisors.

I had the pleasure of talking with Cynthia Kazalia, a Placement Specialist at the New Directions Career Center in Columbus, Ohio. We discussed Cynthia's tips for how one can survive and thrive in the workplace.

We had a lot to discuss...the talk is just over a half hour. Enjoy. And you might want to pass this on to a recent graduate you know.

For more information about the New Directions Career Center...visit their website at www.newdirectionscc.org

And That's No Bull

2010-05-28T11:56:00.004-04:00

Two bulls, one young and full of enthusiasm, and the other older and wiser, see a herd of cows. The young bull says, "Let's charge down this hillside and have our wicked way with a couple of those cows." The old bull replies, "No, how about we stroll gently down this hillside and have our wicked way with them all."

I share this bawdy little joke to remind us to see the power of bringing together a diversity of types of people and generations; to see the benefits of youthfulness and maturity, while being able to discern the difference between impulsive reaction verses patient response.

One of the things I try very hard to get my young son to realize is that he has a choice of reacting or responding to situations that are presented to him. To illustrate the difference in my seminars I use another example…when your doctor describes how the medication he has prescribed is working, would you rather him say you are responding to the medication or reacting to it?

In the case of our own human behavior, in the face of certain situations and opportunities, we must make the choice of whether to respond or to react. Reaction is often based on passion and enthusiasm – which is not always bad; but response if more often the result of reflection and logic – which often comes from the wisdom of age and experience.

There are many benefits of youth we are told. We are especially told this by the young. They are faster and stronger. They are more able to make adjustments and change course. They have a keener grasp of technology and how to apply it. The energy of their youth alone makes them a powerful force to be reckoned with; many times accomplishing things through sheer will and determination.

By contrast, our elders would remind us that it is only though time and experience that we gain true wisdom. They have tried things and failed things and tried something else. Through their experiences they have built things and improved things. As they got older they learned the importance of crafting the appropriate and most effective response, rather than the most ready and passionate reaction.

The battle of the generations is as old as human beings themselves. Who hasn’t heard the stories of ancient practices of leaving the elderly to die when they became too old to hunt and gather or provide value to the tribe? And I can remember reading a rhetorical speech in my high school Latin class about how the Ancient Roman society was deteriorating because the youth wasn’t listening to their elders.

Let us also not forget, however, that age is very much relative. I love the fact that in the span of one week I may find myself amongst young teenagers who consider me the “old” mother figure who may – in their minds – be out of touch with what’s going on in the world; yet I then become the youngun’ who is so up on technology and “new” ways of doing things when I am with people old enough to be my parents.

My husband often chuckles when he recalls an exchange between himself and a fellow Masonic brother of his. This gentleman would often make references to my husband being a “young man” and my husband would remind him that he was in his late forties. To which the gentleman would reply, I’m in my eighties, so to me you are a young man.

Taking us back to the two bulls of our joke above…let us not be too bull-headed to see the benefits of those generations to which we are not a member. Embrace the fact that in some circles you will be the wise and mature veteran, while in another you may be the energetic and innovative young person. Your place in society is relative. So remember, no matter which group you find yourself in, learn to appreciate the gifts and wisdom of others; for you would like the same from others when you find yourself in the opposite position.

What Is the Cover of Your Book?

2010-05-27T13:39:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I know I’m a bit of a fanatic when it comes to customer service and cleanliness in businesses. Whenever I’m out and about, going through my daily life, I have a more critical eye than most consumers because quality improvement is what I “do”. Many times I have wanted to hand my card to a manager or business owner and say, “Call me. You really need me!” based on what I saw or experienced. I may not give them my card, but I do take the time – especially if it is my desire to continue to be a customer – to let them know they can do better. Such was the case the other day while spending time with my son.

I had taken my son to one of his favorite indoor playground facilities. You know the type; it looks like a giant hamster habitrail type thing, complete with several levels of slides, rope climbs and swinging monkey bars, etc. Anyway, as we pull up to the place I noticed a great deal of garbage strewn about one of the entrances. This particular location is in a strip mall, in what looks like it should have been a grocery store, so there are two entrances, one on either side of a long hallway, allegedly where shopping carts might have been stored. I decide to avoid the one that looked like the stadium parking lot of a university after a football tailgate and entered through the cleaner entrance.

Being a “good customer,” while I’m paying the entrance fee, I let the employee know of the condition of one of the entrances. “I may be the first or the fiftieth to let you know, but…” and I proceed to describe the condition of the entrance. As happens far too often when I do my customer public service reports, I got the “Why are you telling me this?” look. Then I guess she thought of a slightly better response and she proceeded to tell me that they had been very busy and their first priority was to serve the customers inside of the facility.

Okay, so someone had obviously told her the ubiquitous mantra that many a company chants, but less follow through on – the one about “always serving the customer”. I resisted the urge to explain to her that serving the customer starts with the first impression. Garbage being the first thing I see when I bring my child into your establishment doesn’t serve my need to patronize a clean facility.

My son and I spent just under an hour at the facility and as we were leaving I saw and heard the same employee point me out to what appeared to be a manager. “Yeah, she’s the one who said there was trash in the parking lot.” And as I walked out of the building, I saw that nothing had changed. What looked to be a tattered and half filled white kitchen trash bag, its missing contents scattered about a 12 square foot space, was still there. Untouched.

I can only imagine what happened. Since the employee kept saying “parking lot” when I said entrance, she and the other person she relayed my message to, assumed it “was not their responsibility,” perhaps never even venturing outside.

I know enough about retail space rental agreements – I once interned with a real estate development company – to know that the business usually rents the space and as part of that rental fee, the landlord is responsible for common areas like the parking lot. So if the “parking lot” or even the sidewalks leading up to the entrances need attending to, that is under the purview of the landlord, not the tenant.

Okay, that may be the rental agreement, but your customers don’t care about the rental agreement. Here’s what they are thinking. If you don’t care enough about your outside, in this case, the cleanliness of such, how concerned are you with the inside. It’s like with a restaurant’s bathroom. If I go in and find it’s disgusting, my next assumption is that your kitchen is disgusting.

Right or wrong, consumers will take one aspect of your business and assume direct correlations about another part of your business. They are going to assume that poor choices in one area will mean poor choices in another.

Let’s look at this example more closely. As a parent, I want to take my child to a place that is fun, clean and safe. If this facility gets the reputation for being dirty, how many parents are going to want to take their children to it? When you patronize a place, especially if you bring your children, you want to be able to make certain assumptions and be right in those assumptions.

Parents want to assume that owners clean the facility on a regular basis, because lord knows kids bring in germs with them and they are touching every inch of that play structure. Parents want to assume that you clean your kitchen within health regulation standards and that you do not serve food that has been mishandled or has expired because your food safety procedures are lax. Parents want to assume that you check your equipment on a regular basis to ensure there are no loose screws, weak joints or holes in the safety netting that surrounds the structure.

Guess what? You may in fact do all of these things. You may have the best safety and cleanliness procedures in place and are enforcing them. But no one would know it by what your exterior looks like. Just like clothes matter to a professional’s reputation, so too does the outside matter to a business.

So the lessons learned are this….everything matters! If you care about your business or your career, know that what you think is benign and doesn’t really matter may be the lynch pin for your customers. Contrary to what they say about not judging a book by its cover, your customers will judge you. So in other words…keep your parking lot clean!

Interview with Judith & Jim -- The Heart of Marketing

2010-05-20T07:24:00.005-04:00

Your Marketing plan does not have to include "hit your target market over the head" and "hard sell" types of strategies. So say Drs. Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski, Authors and Soft Sell Marketing authorities.

Please enjoy my latest Power of CARE Talk with Judith & Jim.

Judith and Jim's latest book is The Heart of Marketing.

You can learn more about them and their book at http://www.theheartofmarketing.com/

Do you have a Why Attitude?

2010-05-17T08:00:00.005-04:00

In the Power of CARE, I talk about the importance of having the right attitude. It's not just about having a positive attitude, although that is important. Beyond positivity, it is also key that one have an attitude of continuous learning and teachability -- what I call having a Why Attitude™.

So what is a Why Attitude™?  There is a cliche that says, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."  In part, to care about someone means you have put forth the effort to understand her. To understand his why.   And once you understand the why of things and of people, you have the ability to be more effective and innovative. To be more successful.   Think about teachers. The most effective ones know that each student learns differently. When she understands how each particular student learns, she has the ability to individualize her teaching to that student's style of learning. How a student learns is impacted by a great many things...their socio-economic status, whether English is their first language, a learning disability, their level of interest in the subject matter, physical variables like near-sighetedness of hearing problems, etc. etc. These all get to the why of the how...and when you understand the why, you can be a better teacher.

Think about your relationships with your significant others. How much more effective are you when you understand their thought processes and why it is they feel or do the things they feel or do?  As Stephen Covey teaches in his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, when we "seek first to understand and then to be understood", we have the ability to be more effective in our communication and in our relationships. Your spouse may do something that drives you completely bananas, yet when you discover it stems from his childhood and "that's the way his family always did it" your attitude may change. You may be able to live with the behavior because you understand "where he is coming from" or you may be better able to communicate about your feelings and his because now you understand the why behind the behavior.

In our society -- whether it is in your business or personal world --  knowing the how and the what only get you so far. Those who are truly successful, understand the why.   I remember a quote -- I'm paraphrasing -- that said, "People who know the what and how will always have a job, but people who know the why will be their more successful employers."   When you have a Why Attitude™ you are continually seeking to understand, to get to the heart of the "why" of something or someone.

I came across this Ted Talk from Simon Sinek. He doesn't call it the Why Attitude™ of course, but I was so intrigued by the similarities of much of what he said and what I have learned and taught in The Power of CARE.

Please enjoy this wonderful lesson about the power of why.

Interview with Amber O'Neal

2010-05-14T13:50:00.000-04:00

I had a great interview with Fitness Expert Amber O'Neal. She has "10 Myths About Weight Loss and Food You'll Be Glad to Hear"

If you are interested in more information about Amber, visit her website at http://www.amberoneal.com/

Interview with Author Terry Kohl

2010-05-11T13:02:00.002-04:00

I had a wonderful talk with Author Terry Kohl about her new book, "Lost Your Job? Now What!" I hope you enjoy our talk as much as we did.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T11:31:00.003-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers and mother figures out there.

At church this morning, I was reminded of a poem by a famous mother figure by my church priest, another "Mother" both in her role as a clergy and as one who has given birth to and raised children.

If you have been here before, you know I believe that all of life, especially relationships, are a balancing act between because of, and in spite of. This poem from Mother Teresa reminds us of the choices we must continually make as we travel through our lives and interact with people.

ANYWAY POEM -- by Mother Teresa

The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Your Motivation A-Team

2010-04-29T17:11:00.000-04:00

I believe that when you care -- whatever the context -- you must care enough to cultivate good relationships. This thing we call life can be very challenging. Those challenges can seem insurmountable without a good support system to help you through the stress.

Part of getting through these tough times requires some proactive effort. Even before you find yourself down in the dumps or feeling sorry for yourself, you have assembled an A-Team of people who can be your cheerleaders and help you out of your doldrums. And these people needn't be official mentors or teachers.

I remember a few years ago I was having a very very stressful time at work. I was wondering if anything I did as a leader was making a difference. The challenges within the non-profit organization I worked seemed to never get better, no matter what I did. I actually thought about moving on and looking for another position. One day, I felt I needed to take some time for myself. So before I went home, I went to one of my favorite stores for some retail therapy. What I found was much better.

I ran into a former co-worker from a store I had worked at to earn extra money during the holidays. As we talked and exchanged pleasantries, she said something that made my day. She told me how much she had enjoyed working with me, even for those few short weeks. She said I always made work fun and pleasant and that she felt I was a wonderful person.

I am a firm believer that God often puts people in our path just when we need them. I regained my motivation to go back to my job and continue my pursuit to make the program better. I did eventually leave the organization years later; not during a down time, but after a triumph.

This story not only shows the power of relationships for the receiver of the praise, but also the importance of offering kinds words...or as I heard at an event this past weekend, "Giving people their flowers while they can still smell them." You never know how your words can be just what a person needed. If you ever have a question about whether to offer a word of encouragement or praise...JUST DO IT! It could be the best thing to happen to them that day.

So if you care about your ability to be a good parent or spouse, business person or leader, you must cultivate powerful relationships. You must cultivate relationships with people who will keep you motivated. Effort and efficacy are impacted by motivation. Motivation can be renewed simply by having someone tell you how great you are, when you yourself have forgotten.

Mea Culpa

2010-04-28T10:20:00.000-04:00

"Success covers a multitude of blunders." -- Bernard Shaw

Have you ever read a story in Time or Fortune magazine about a business that is successful? Of course you have. But what we don't hear or read about as often are the countless mistakes those businesses made before they were successful.

If a person or company rises to fame and fortune, everyone gets on the bandwagon to talk about them. And if they suffer a devastating downfall after success, that is even better. But what is truly fascinating is how often the failures of your past get almost completely forgotten if you find yourself on top.

With few exceptions, our society can be very forgiving of past blunders, when like a phoenix you rise from the ashes of failure to have the last laugh and revenge of success. Unless there was some malicious intent on your part, we tend to root for the under dog.

So, I say all of this to say....If you are not where you would like to be now; if you are making your multitude of blunders, persevere and be secure in the knowledge that once you attain your success, your past mistakes will be forgotten and erased....except on the Internet.

Don't Be Afraid To Be A Woman

2010-04-26T22:56:00.004-04:00

As we draw closer to Mother’s Day, I am thinking more and more of my mother. She was a remarkable woman and a great wife and mother. My family and I were blessed to have had her in our lives, even if the time was far too short.

I learned a great deal from my mother, through conversation and observation. She has taught me so much about what it means to be a wife, a mother, a professional, a woman. Of the many things my mother taught me, one of the ones that sticks in my mind the most is "Don't be afraid to be a woman."

It’s funny, the first time she said this to me, it was actually in response to my clothes. On the one hand, I was a parent’s dream come true – a teenaged girl who didn’t try to wear too much make-up or tight skimpy clothing. I was a total conservative preppy. My usual “uniform” was long skirts or pants and baggy sweaters. While my father was trying to get me to improve my style in general, my mother was trying to get me to embrace my emerging womanhood and learn to tastefully show my womanly curves.

Over time however, through observation of countless strong and successful women – my mother included – the phrase has come to mean so much more to me. To me it means don’t put limits on yourself. It means embrace your femininity, but don’t think that means you can’t also possess “masculine” characteristics too. Likewise, just because you have benefited from the new opportunities of the women’s liberation movement, doesn’t mean you have to “act like a man” in the workplace. It means you decide what it means to me a woman; not society.

In honor of the skill, grace, compassion and womanhood of my mother, I have asked a few folks to remark about what they feel the phrase means to them.

Being a woman means being courageous enough to stay tender inside while facing tough life challenges outside!!!

Michele Howe

Author, Burdens Do a Body Good
www.michelehowe.wordpress.com

[A] good woman is kind, giving, caring, etc.; she can also be strong, intelligent, have strong values and, yes, be beautiful. While none of us can be so called "perfect", we can all strive to be the best physically, mentally and spiritually we can be. Throughout the ages, women who have had great character and accomplished great things have been held up as worthy to emulate.

Beverly Solomon
Creative Director
www.beverlysolomon.com

I find being a woman is so much broader than the usual stereotypes attached to our gender. These days it's more about representing oneself in a variety of ways that are more authentic to the individual and not boxing yourself in. In short to be a woman is powerful and vulnerability simultaneously and beautifully balanced!

Bryn Drescher
Life Coach
http://www.mylifegps.com/

I think that being a woman means accepting your emotions, your body shape, your hair and skin types...basically just getting comfortable with yourself. That becomes a lot easier after you turn 50! It also means giving in to your urge to dress girly and to wear pretty shoes that hurt like hell.

Lynn Thompson
Owner
www.OldMaidCatLady.com

To me "Don’t be afraid to be a woman" means Power -- The Power women posses in themselves that needs to be unleashed. Who else but women can accomplish so much? We wear so many hats that power is our source of strength, knowledge and our core of being. Women need not be afraid to step out of the comfort box that so many get into and forget they can be so much more...Be the woman everyone looks up to, be the woman every man desires, be the woman other women run to for answers, don’t be afraid to be a woman ....instead be a POWER WOMAN.

Deb Bailey

Power Women Magazine and Radio Show
http://www.powerwomenmagazine.com/

A wise statement! For me, "Don’t be afraid to be a woman" means embracing the qualities that can be written off as female stereotypes. Example- women are stereotyped as being "chatty/gossipy/talkative" when in fact our ability to communicate deeply and pick up on non-verbal cues is one of our great assets. There's no need to shortchange your conversational style in the workplace-- or anywhere else-- to be taken seriously. Embrace your abilities that are uniquely yours. As for what it means to be a woman? It means a long history of nurturers-- a gender that privileges community and communication over strength and domination. Our culture and our country needs for every woman to embrace these innate strengths for the good of all of us!

Joanne Rock
Romance Author
http://joannerock.com

To be a woman means embracing your power, valuing those whom you love, appreciating your worth, and honoring your spirit. I embrace my power by using by feminine qualities for good: encouraging others to do the right thing and loving my man for all that he is and does. I value my children by complimenting them when they succeed and encouraging them to do better upon their failures. I appreciate my worth as well as my mothers and sisters worth by spoiling and supporting them at all times. Most of all, I honor my spirit by praying and praising my Heavenly Father with the so many blessings that have been bestowed upon me. In summary, to be a woman means not only recognizing, but appreciating all that you are and can do.

Zee Wilson
Inlectronics Inc.
http://inlectronics.com

For me, "Don't be afraid to be a woman" means, among other things don't be afraid to dress like a woman. You are not a man. Of course, if you feel more comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt, by all means go ahead and dress that way. But if you like wearing skirts or dresses, wear them and expect to be taken seriously nonetheless. [It means] don't believe for a moment that you need to behave like a man to succeed in this world. You can be yourself and succeed. [It means have] confidence in yourself and your own abilities. Being a woman is not a hindrance, it's an advantage. Women have unique skills. They tend to be more emotionally developed creatures than men. They tend to have better people skills. Those skills can get you quite far in this world.

Berit Brogaard
Freelance writer and Associate Professor
http://brogaardb.googlepages.com

To me, being a woman means to inhabit my own skin from the inside-out rather than from the outside-in. What this means is, when others tell me "women should look like this" or "women should act like that" or "women should do this kind of work" or "women should think this way about that issue", I check it out within myself first. I don’t just automatically compare my preferences, appearance, behaviors, opinions, or choices to what women should or should not say/think/believe/do. This means that the most important meaning of being a woman -- to me at least -- is to remember that when I live from the inside-out, honoring and valuing and expressing my own unique gifts, talents, opinions, and preferences, I empower other women to do the same (ala Marianne Williamson), and I encourage the men in our lives to honor us for being multi-dimensional, creative, beautiful, individual, and unique human beings.

Shannon Cutts
MentorCONNECT
www.mentorconnect-ed.org

To me, being a woman means being strong, secure, independent, compassionate, responsible, and caring. Being a good listener, cooperating with others while holding fast to high ideals is an important part of being a woman. Being a woman means recognizing that outer beauty come from integrity, love, truth, and gentleness. Being a woman means becoming comfortable with receiving attention from others gracefully. It also means being willing to accept the power that comes from strong ideals and commitment to truth.

Laurel Clark
School of Metaphysics
www.som.org

I am not afraid to show my strength and intelligence, and to claim my power. This means being proud of being intuitive and knowing.

Diana Fletcher

Coach, Speaker and Author

www.dianafletcher.com

To me a woman is someone who is comfortable in her own skin. It's one that knows what she believes in and is willing to stand up for that. It's one that has her own style. Whether it’s being comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt or all glammed up for a night on the town... it's being comfortable being you. I think being a woman is when you don't have to behave like a man to be respected like a man; it's being feminine with strength and grace. I think being a woman is communicating thoughts and feelings in an honest, open and appropriate. In a nutshell I think a woman has the grace of a duchess and the strength of steel.

Sharmen Lane
SharSpeaks LLC
www.sharspeaks.com

Being a woman means being a member of the most amazing, powerful group of people ever assembled by God....Caregivers. We can't help it. It's in our DNA. I've heard story after story like mine....of well-meaning brothers who want to help with aging parents, but just can't find the strength inside. Enter....the sisters. Miracle workers. Angels. Goddesses. And we care for our children, too.......often at the same time. And we have careers, too, often at the same time. And we keep marriages and households going too......often at the SAME TIME! Beautiful, magical jugglers.....that's us. It's an amazing club that I am PROUD beyond measure to be a member of.

Karen Taylor-Good
Grammy nominated Singer/Songwriter & Author
www.KarenTaylorGood.com

Being a woman, I have the power to empathize. I have the power to be a mother and sense each feeling of my child like no one else. As a modern woman whose life is not restricted to home, I have the power to multitask and by equally strong mentally and physically. Being a woman, I cut the ruthlessness out of life and bring a lot of elements of creativity, finesse and beauty. Some men do have some of the above mentioned qualities, but I think ALL women have these qualities and that is what makes me proud of being a woman.

Atula Gupta

Freelance Writer

www.indiasendangered.blogspot.com

To be a woman means to be strong enough to stand up and express myself in the face of most anything, to believe that I can do whatever I set my mind to do, and to still be vulnerable enough to cry and laugh at life's comedies and tragedies.

Sandy Weiner, CPCC, ACC
Certified Professional Life Coach
www.abiggerpond.com

Thank you. Tell Me More.

2010-04-23T08:30:00.005-04:00

Someone emailed me this week to tell me I had made a mistake. When I thanked her, she was surprised I didn’t take offense. I told her that I have to practice what I preach. Although no one likes be told they are wrong, when you are told you’ve failed or made a mistake, especially if the news comes from a customer, you must give some variation of the response, “Thank you. Tell me more.”

Whether the relationship is customer and service provider, husband and wife, co-workers or friends, when it comes to building and maintaining relationships, one must learn to appreciate criticism. It is a skill that is very hard to master, but oh so important. Although there are many people who like to complain just for the sake of complaining, sometimes, a complaint represents an opportunity to maintain the relationship.

Why do we complain?

How many of you have experienced bad customer service? I’ll bet all of you. How many of you have said something to the offending service provider? Why? Why not? I’ll bet the reason you did say something is the same reason I am telling you to learn to appreciate complaints…because you wanted to continue the relationship.

Think about it. If you didn’t care about continuing the customer-provider relationship, you wouldn’t have bothered. I’ll relate a couple of stories to illustrate my point.

My impromptu shopping experiment

A few months back, I stopped in a make-up store in search of lip gloss. Now if you don’t know me, you don’t know that I usually only go shopping for a reason. I don’t window shop. If I am shopping, I’m looking for something in particular. In some ways, I shop like a man. I go in. I look for a few moments and if I don’t see what I’m looking for, I ask a sales person. If they can’t help, I move on to the next store.

I walked into this store and started to look around, I was on the verge of asking for assistance, when I realized that the two salespersons in this small boutique never greeted me or asked me if they could help me. I decided to do a quick experiment. I waited and walked past them to see if they would say anything. When another patron entered the store and they immediately said, “Hello, how are you!” I was suspicious. When the next patron entered the store and she too was greeted with a cheery “Hello” and an offer for assistance, I knew. I was shopping while black. The difference between me and the other two patrons was that I was in a business suit and African American and they were in casual clothes and were Caucasian.

After walking around the small store for more than fifteen minutes and purposefully meeting the eyes of both of the sales staff, I finally decided to leave, sans lip gloss. After requesting the name and card of the store manager -- for the purpose of writing a complaint letter – I left. Yet, within five minutes of entering my car, I said to myself, “Why bother!”

My life would suffer no hardship if I never entered that store again in my life. I had no investment. I didn’t care. And truth be told, they probably could care less if I never entered their store either; for it was obvious from that visit, they didn’t care about my business.

Customer Service Hero

Now let’s transition to another experience. My family and I go out to dinner entirely too much. At one of our favorite family style restaurants, there is a manager who works his butt off. Whenever we are there and Mike is on duty, we see him zipping around the restaurant and because of his leadership and example, his staff work harder too. By contrast, sometimes when Mike is not there, we can tell.

After one of those occasions when we experienced a less than stellar customer service visit, we were there when Mike was back. As someone who knows the importance of recognizing his regular customers, Mike came by our table and asked us how things were. Now my husband and I, in addition to being customers who like to tease and joke around with our servers, are also very candid. We told Mike everything was great, today, but the last time, “We could tell you weren’t here.”

Mike, my customer service hero said, “Thank you for letting me know. Tell me what happened.”

Mike knew us as regular customers. He recognized that we were customers who were looking to continue the relationship. We were not complaining just to complain. We were giving him a chance to make things right; to make improvements in his operations. We were saying, “We care enough to let you know. Do you care enough about us to have the right response?”

If your customers care enough to make the effort to complain to you, you should care enough to appreciate the opportunity. The opportunity for improvement. The opportunity to save and maintain the relationship. The opportunity to meet and exceed their expectations. The opportunity to say, “Thank you. Tell me more.”

Relationship Balancing Act

2010-04-21T13:54:00.006-04:00

When was the last time you did an evaluation on the status of your relationships? Are all of your relationships healthy ones? Is there room for improvement?

All relationships, especially romantic ones, are a continuous balancing act between “because of” and “in spite of”.

I love him because he always calls me to tell me he loves me when he’s away on business. I love her because she loves football as much as I do. I love him because he always remembers to pick up my favorite cupcakes at the bakery across from his office.

I love him in spite of the fact that he never remembers my birthday. I love her in spite of the fact that she can’t cook. I love him in spite of the fact that his table manners are atrocious.

These are of course very benign examples, but they illustrate a point. Your “because of” list should far outweigh your “in spite of” list – both in quantity and quality. Every once in a while we all need to do a relationship inventory to see if our relationships are “out of balance” in the bad way.

Improving your relationship is like improving anything in life – being able to measure what quality is and what it is not should be one of the first steps. If you can’t measure something, you can’t improve it.

Who's Your Person?

2010-04-20T08:30:00.011-04:00

"I get by with a little help from my friends."
- John Lennon

On one of my favorite t.v. shows, Greys Anatomy, there is a recurring "bit" involving Christina and Meredith. As Christina once said to her boyfriend, Dr. Burke, "She's my person. If I murdered someone she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor."

Most of us, if we are lucky, have at least one "person". That one friend or family member who we can always talk to. The one who we know won't judge us (unless we need it). The one who our life events "are not real" until we tell them.

For me, that person is my sister. As I sit here typing, I find myself getting verklempt at the thought. If we had a theme song, for me it would be Whitney Houston and CeCe Winans' "Count on Me". Most of the time we think similarly, but when we disagree, we can debate and then agree to disagree.

First and foremost, we can always count on each other.

A few folks were nice enough to share with me and you who their person is -- what this relationship means to them. I hope you will listen to Whitney and Cece as you read their stories and think about your person. Then call your person and tell them that you love them.

Nadine

My person is someone I've literally known my entire life. Our parents were all college students together and we were put in the same crib during their weekly bridge games. We've seen her parents’ divorce, both remarry. We've been on vacations together. We confided in each other during our teenage years, became roommates in college--which didn't work out so great, but it didn't destroy our friendship. I was in her wedding as a bridesmaid and soloist. We drifted apart for a few years. Life simply took us in different directions, but we'd always seem to reconnect. We're both mommies now, helping each other through the landmines of parenting and giving each other pats on the back when needed. She's someone I can call and say, "I need to hear I'm not going crazy for having to listen to pre-school DVD's and shows for my 4 year old". She calls and asks me if she's doing the right thing when it comes to her 12 year old son, who she's raising as a single mom. Even with her living 3000 miles away, our friendship is as strong as ever and I have no doubt, will literally last our lifetimes.
Patricia Walters-Fischer
Founder Smart Cookie Parents
www.smartcookieparents.com

Let me tell you about "my person" -- Tara. She is a military spouse like me, and military spouses call their "persons" their "battle buddies." Tara and I have been through deployments, started a business together, and we've weathered/are weathering the life of an Army Wife and mother of Army brats. We're like the real-life Army Wives and like Meredith and Christina, we've had good days and bad days, but ultimately we hug it out and are better for the experiences we've had. We've been battle buddies for about 5 years now. Because she doesn't judge me and I try not to judge her, we should be set for another 5+ years of this Army Wife Life together. I look forward to being a retired military spouse with her some day, talking about the good old days, mentoring the young-uns, and being forever grateful we had each other to see it through.
Starlett Henderson
Army Wife Network
www.armywifenetwork.com

[My person] would be there no matter what. She is the person I trust even more then my husband. We talked about the trust we have with each other and support. We both agreed if something went wrong, we would call each other before our husbands. We have been friends for over twenty years. I think 23 to be exact. I can tell her anything. As a friend who is really more than a friend, she is like a sister. I can tell her anything, but I have to expect her response will be true and honest. The same goes for me.
Diane Lang
Health & Wellness Counselor
www.dlcounseling.com

I am so fortunate to have some amazing friends in my life, so I have quite a few who I could count on and lean on. That said, the person I would call first most of the time is my friend, Ann. She is the most open, caring, non-judgmental, supportive and amazing friend in the world and has been there for me in ways big and small for over a decade. When my boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me with 22 women, she was there, offering to pay for therapy because I couldn’t afford it (meanwhile she was dealing with her own boyfriend drama). When I could not get to her wedding due to a job loss, she forgave me for having to back out of being a bridesmaid two months before the wedding (which I still feel horrible about). When I have good news, she’s the one I want to share it with first and mostly, she’s someone I think about often and take an active interest in her life and her happiness. I feel so blessed to have her in my life and learn something from her every time we talk--best of all; our conversations are like little vacations--always a gift.
Brenda Della Casa
Author/Columnist/Dating Coach
www.CinderellaWasaLiar.com

My husband is [my] person. We met when we were sixteen, dated for two years of high school, dated other people throughout college, studying abroad, and graduate school, but always got back together vacations and summers. We ran up huge phone bills before the day of texting and instant messaging. We are now in our early 40's, moved 1800 miles away from our immediate families, and often have days where we don't have time for anything other than exchanging information about kids or schedules. But when we do have time together we have so much to discuss. We remind each other to see the humor and levity in situations which might not have seemed so funny at the time --work conflicts, children conflicts, moral dilemmas, etc. We know from where and whom each other came, and have basically grown up together with each others' friends. I feel very lucky and worry about the day that one of us is not there for the other one.
Julie Arnheim
www.Rubbingnickels.com

My "Person" is relatively new in my life, in the grand scheme of things. We have known each other for many years but grew closer after working together on some Fraternity alumni issues. After a particularly grueling year, we ended up falling into a night of deep discussion where we truly "found" each other. He has since become my partner as an artist and entrepreneur. His name is Chris. I can safely say that I connect with my friend and collaborator on a level that I have never be able to connect with anyone in my entire life. We see the world in much the same way. A great deal of our time is spent discussing “what’s the next big thing”, analyzing human nature and feeling some level of pity for the masses who still live in "the box." We see the world the same way because we don’t care about owning homes, wealth or popularity but we see these things as simply tools to do good works.
Mr. Arash
MrArash.BlogSpot.com

That would be my cousin Suzi. We're more like sisters, which is weird because she has two sisters of her own. I, on the other hand, am an only child, so it is nice to have her as my go-to-gal for things in my life and vice versa. Suzi and I have been hanging out together, sharing lunches, shopping, drama, trauma and everything in between for probably about 17 years now. She's my person because she can call me on my BS if necessary and I know if she does I need it. She tells me to apply anyway for that job that seems like it's too big for me because she has faith in my skills. She also is there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on.
Angela Watson
www.TheBlueMoon.org

I met my person, Anna in 2002 when she joined the sorority I was in. Since then we have been close friends. In August of 2004 I moved to California and since then we talk every night. She is the one person I can tell anything to and I know will always have my back. We also have similar martial and divorce experiences. She is the one person who won’t judge me when I tell her something crazy I did. She is also there when I need a good kick in the butt.
LJ Maggie
http://ljmaggie.wordpress.com

My person is my friend Kathryn. We go through thick and thin together and whatever it is, I can always tell her. She helps me build my business. She is there when one of my critters dies. She is always there for me! We have known each other about 10 years now. [We] live only a few minutes from each other’s houses. [We] are family to each other’s family. And I have no doubt; she would help me move that body!
Dee Finch
www.Peoplefood4Dogs.com

The Power of Relationships in Building Your Business

2010-04-19T11:04:00.004-04:00

Big, small, or tiny, success in business is about creating and maintaining relationships, not only with customers but with those who can help you build your business.

One of the low-cost strategies that a business owner can incorporate into their Marketing Plan is being someone who connects with other businesses and helps them build their business too. It is a simple way to build your business through building your circle of influence.

Each week make it a goal to build relationships with complementary small businesses that are not direct competition. If you sell candy, become a marketing partner with a florist, a salon & spa, or a restaurant. If you are a gourmet food shop, connect with a caterer or an event planner. The key it to see how many "business partners" you can connect with for reciprocal referrals and joint marketing events.

For all you A-Type personalities who need to quantify and measure your marketing activities and their ROI, this is easy to track. Set goals on your number of contacts and their outcomes. How many new relationships have you created this month? How many referrals have you made? How many have you received? What is the average gross receipt for each partner's referrals? You can decide to retain or end a partnership based on the reciprocity of the relationship.

More talk about Chinese Foods...

2010-04-17T15:54:00.006-04:00

My previous post about regional foods made me think about a great talk from one of my favorite sites, TED.com

Food Glorious Food!

2010-04-16T21:54:00.012-04:00

I don’t care what anyone says, the Chinese food outside of New England is just not as good as the kind I grew up with in Boston. Lobster sauce is supposed to be brown, not white. And nowhere else have I found the greatness of those gingery chicken wings.

I feel incomplete if I travel to visit family in Boston and I don’t have a chance to get some great Chinese food. The phone number to my favorite Boston area Chinese restaurant is programmed in my cell phone. Sometimes, I want to freeze a supply and bring it home with me.

I’m not alone in this food withdrawal. Gone are the days when people lived their whole lives in the same city, so it’s not unusual to get used to certain food favorites, only to discover you can’t find them when you move for school or career opportunities.

Tales of Two Cities

Linda Reynolds, in her words, “move[d] from the rust belt and bread basket of the Detroit, Michigan area to the bible belt and fryer basket of Nashville, TN!” Like me, Ms. Reynolds has experienced that longing for the tastes of home. Having lived in Royal Oak, Michigan for over 20 years she had quite a while to get used to the local specialty supermarkets like the Royal Oak Farmers Market. “I am a gourmet cook by avocation and couldn’t believe all the things that I am totally unable to find here in TN. I actually brought back over 30 jars and packets of spices from Penzeys spices in my carry-on luggage at Christmas time. Fortunately, the agent searching my bags knew Penzeys and understood totally why I was ‘smuggling’ 30 jars of good spices back to Tennessee!”

Livia King Blackburne grew up in New Mexico, but now lives in my hometown of Boston. As much as I miss the seafood and Chinese food of Boston, she is obsessed – her words, not mine – with getting good green chilis. Ms. Blackburne, a graduate student at MIT and blogger says, “Whenever I’ve met a fellow New Mexican in New England, green chili comes up within 5 minutes. It’s almost a secret pass phrase to prove your origins. If someone claims to be from NM but doesn’t automatically perk up when the pepper’s mentioned, be very, very suspicious.”

Natalie Fontane, creator of Scrivener's Retreat, is a transplant from perhaps one of the foodiest of food Mecca’s, -- Louisiana...New Iberia to be exact -- and now finds herself in North Las Vegas, NV. For those who don’t know, one of New Iberia’s claims to fame is that it is the location of a Tabasco processing plant. Living as she says “a stone’s throw” from Tabasco, you know she is not a connoisseur of bland food. “When I go back home for a visit one of the things we always have to do is [get] Cajun food.” She doesn’t leave Louisiana without having a few of her favorite foods that she can't cook for herself, such as fried catfish, boudin, shrimp po-boys and boiled crawfish, if it is in season.

Not only does Ms. Fontane try to get her fill of her local favorites when she visits LA, when her mom visits her in Nevada, she brings Ms. Fontane various provisions, like Zapp's potato chips. “The chips get smashed on the plane, but it's worth it.” And on a recent visit, her mom brought her six cans of Trappey's black-eyed peas.”

Another transplant to the Las Vegas area, Danielle Liss of the Frugal Lawyer has strong feelings about their cheese steaks. “I spent my first 30 years in the Philadelphia region. Las Vegas claims to have cheese steaks....Lies! I miss Wawa in ways that I can’t fully describe,” states Ms. Liss. “When I am home to visit family, there is a Wawa shorti on the menu every day. When friends come out to Vegas, I typically request that they bring me peanut chews and family members have shipped various flavors of Herrs potato chips to me.”

Our cravings may not always make sense to those on the outside looking in. To some, Maria Liberati may be living the charmed life for any foodie -- splitting her time between Philadelphia and Italy. However, whenever she is in one place, she longs for the food of the other. When asked about transporting food from one place to the other, you’d think she’d talk more about the foods of Italy, but no; most of the culinary transferring is from Philadelphia to Italy. “The Philly soft pretzels, Landis peanut butter made in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania and apple butter [are] all things that one cannot get in Italy. The apple butter and Landis peanut butter are my passion and I always have a spot for a small supply in my suitcase especially when I am gone for 8 weeks,” says Ms. Liberati.

Even more amazing, Ms. Liberati has her family and friends in Italy hooked on some of the Philly delicacies. “I am not welcome back home in Italy if I arrive without a dozen or so Philly soft pretzels. I’ve gotten some of the locals in my town not to mention my fiancé and family members hooked on them.”

Celebrity Event Designer and Television Personality Samantha Goldberg may be a native of Chicago, but she knows the hunger pains of an east coast favorite -- Tastykake Krimpets -- through her husband, a mainline Philadelphia native. Of their time Tastykake deprived, Ms. Goldberg says, “In the Midwest we were used to Dolly Madison Zingers, an equivalent to Krimpets, but not the same. I could not find them anywhere. And not one grocery store from the East (NJ/NY/PA) would send me a box. I wrote a letter to the folks at Tastykake telling them how I wanted to surprise this wonderful man with a treat from home. They were so thrilled by my story they sent me a box. They also soon after developed a relationship with Dominicks, a grocery chain in Illinois. Soon we had Krimpets galore!!! Now we are living in NJ and have no issues with finding them!”

Nancy Dekalb -- of Katcher Vaughn & Bailey Public Relations, Inc in Nashville -- is continuing her love affair with Sanders Milk Chocolate “Hot” Fudge Sauce from Detroit, Michigan and has hooked her kids on Sanders too. “That’s what I request from any relatives in Michigan, or anyone traveling to the area. I grew up in Illinois, but I have fond memories of visiting my Grandma Harris in Detroit during the summers. We rode the bus downtown to Hudson’s department store and ate hot fudge sundaes at the soda fountain in the store,” says Ms. Dekalb.

And you don’t have to be half way across the country to miss your favorite foods. Nisha Ray, a Certified Christian Life & Biz Coach, only moved an hour away, from Elizabeth, New Jersey to South Jersey; but her favorite spot -- Tom and Jerry's -- was too far away. Her regular order: an Italian hotdog with potatoes, onions and peppers on an Italian roll with ketchup. “When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I had such a craving for an Italian hotdog that I got dressed at eight o'clock at night told my roommates I was going to get something to eat and hit the turnpike to get there before they closed. It was raining and I was 8 months pregnant and did not care. All I know was I wanted this hot dog. By 10 my roommates were calling my cell looking for me and I was sitting in my car outside of Tom & Jerry's devouring this Italian hot dog with tons of potatoes, onions and peppers with a cup of potatoes!!”

College Care Packages
One of the first opportunities we have to experience our special food withdrawal is during our college years, but care packages lessen the pain. Care packages were like getting a little love from home in a box. John Wetmore of Perils for Pedestrians has memories of one college experience where he helped relieve a mother’s worries. “A friend of mine who was originally from Taiwan was studying in The Netherlands for the summer. His mother was concerned that he wouldn't be able to find good Chinese food. When I went to visit my friend, his mother had me bring a knapsack full of canned and boxed food from her local Chinese grocery,” said Mr. Wetmore.

For Executive Account Manager, Megan Palmer, her college years’ food angst can be summed up in one word…UTZ. “I grew up in Maryland. In grade school they sold UTZ Crab Chips, you know the ones, flavored with Old Bay.” Ms. Palmer attended college in Providence, and “would get a hankering for Old Bay and Crab Chips” but could never find them. Mom to the rescue! She would send Ms. Palmer care packages with Crab Chips and they “would make her semester!” Now living in Miami she’s in withdrawal again and has to be satisfied with stocking up when she goes to Maryland for visits.

Jessica Schmidt-Bonifant, a Development Director also grew up in Maryland. She remembers longing for home-state delicacies when she went to college in Kentucky. “My mom would routinely send me care packages with all the Maryland food necessities, Old Bay, Berger Cookies, if she could have shipped me steamed crabs she would have,” says Ms. Schmidt-Bonifant.

Food Express

The good news is, more and more companies and restaurants have realized the benefits of having some of their customer favorites available for delivery across the country. David Ruiz of Alfonso Gourmet Pasta Inc in Pompano Beach, FL says his “company has experienced continued business for years from customers that used to live in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area and used to purchase pasta products directly from [their facility].” Says Mr. Ruiz, “[Customers] have moved from the area and now buy from us via the internet. We ship to their new homes.”

Dana Marlowe, a Principal Partner of Accessibility Partners, LLC lives in Maryland now, but still has a taste for flavors from Texas. “We regularly ship Texas BBQ from the Salt Lick BBQ to our home. As a matter of fact, we FedExed 100 lbs of BBQ assorted meat into town for our rehearsal dinner several years ago. Any time the Pittsburgh Steelers make it to the Super Bowl, we ship in a 5 LB brisket and sauce. We have celebrated many an anniversary dinner over Salt Lick BBQ that got mailed to our front door,” says Ms. Marlowe.

So what if your regional favorite doesn’t have an internet presence or you can’t wait until you go for a visit? For any true foodie, you won't let that stop you. If you need a mentor on how to get what you crave to your front door, then maybe you need a friend like Debra Fink Bachelder of Binding Arts. Born in New Jersey and raised in Brooklyn and Long Island, she now calls Mt Gilead, Ohio home. When she couldn’t find Passover food, she got mail-order candy from economycandy.com. “For a friend on a transplant waiting list I had H&H bagels send bagels, cream cheese and lox. I drive an hour to Columbus for some ingredients. That took a few years before they were available, so I had to mail order from Zabars," says Ms. Fink Bachelder.

Kara L.C. Jones, Coach & heARTist at MotherHenna, grew up in Pittsburgh, PA with great Italian food. “The women at the church made periogi and I was able to get fresh cannoli any time I wanted from Sunseri Bros. down in the Strip District. And then in 1995, I moved out west to the Seattle area. I can't tell you how much I miss the food of the 'Burgh! A good friend once FedEx me cannoli! I've had other friends offer to FedEx periogi.”

Food Memories, or Just Memories?

No matter what the food stuff or whether it’s a part of your childhood, your college years or a recent discovery, there is one thing that is universal, part of the allure and nostalgia is not the food itself, but the memories associated with it.

For Tory Klaubo Patrick -- an Account Manager at Vantage Communications living in Washington, DC -- a Marvin's garlic cheeseburger in her college town of Greencastle, Indiana sends her back to memories of friends and good times. “One taste of a Marvin's GCB (garlic cheeseburger) and you were hooked for the next four years! I now live in Washington, DC and there are nights we get together with friends and say, ‘Mmmm, wouldn't a GCB taste good right about now?’ Then we go on to discuss the rest of the menu, and the fun times we had in college. But it all starts with the longing for a GCB,” says Ms. Patrick. “For me, I don't know if it's the actual GCB itself that I long for or just the college days. Either way, Marvin's is a part of my history.”

The Tax Man Cometh!

2010-04-15T12:04:00.002-04:00

It's April 15th -- the last day you have to file your taxes without an extension and be on time.

So the question on most people's minds, especially if you are a business owner -- "Did I do the best I could to minimize my tax bill?" As my fellow blogger Traci Ellis says, it's not unpatriotic to try to pay your least amount of taxes. I wholeheartedly agree! There are so many opportunities for exemptions and deductions that it would be a shame not to take advantage of them. As a business owner, you know far too well that you have so many expenses you can't write off, so you sure as heck had better not leave out the ones you can. That's a business faux-pas that is as bad as failing to "ask for the sale" with your customers. It is unnecessarily leaving money on the table and out of your pocket.

So did you do a good job this year? Have you made resolutions to do better in 2010? What are you going to start doing tomorrow to decrease your tax burden April 15th 2011?

Are you raising an entrepreneur or two?

2010-04-13T20:18:00.000-04:00

Calling All Experts

2010-04-13T15:24:00.003-04:00

I'm a firm believer in the sentiment...."You learn something new everyday." Sometimes this happens naturally, sometimes you need to seek out your next teacher.

So that's what I'm doing now. I'm looking for experts who can teach me and my readers something

So....Who are you and what do you do? What do you know that I need to know?